So lately, I’ve kind of felt like I’ve been “left hanging.” One of those disconcerting, frustrating times where I can’t really feel God like I’m accustomed to. Like I just floating aimlessly in space. Even though I feel like I’ve been doing everything right - studying the Word, praying, trying to keep focused on Jesus - lately I’ve almost felt ignored. I mean, I know that’s the case. I know He loves me, and He’s constantly watching me. But you know how us humans can get sometimes, and you know the lies the devil tries to tell us.
Anyway, this morning I went to church for the first time in longer than I care to say, which probably goes to show that maybe I haven’t been doing everything right. I love church, I craved church, but I miss Times Square or Trinity Grace up in New York, and I miss evening services, so that’s been holding me back. But I knew I needed to go, so even though the church we go to here isn’t really my favorite and we’re always late and miss the worship anyway, I sucked it up and got myself up to go with my mom.
I was going on maybe four hours of sleep, so I wasn’t as alert as I could be. My attention span sucks anyway. So I was kind of in and out, admittedly and unfortunately. But there is something so comforting of just being surrounded by believers in the house of God, regardless. And I got the gist of it - focus on Jesus. Okay. Cool.
But this isn’t about church. Yet I can’t help but feel like it led to something else. Subtly started a chain reaction. Because though lately I felt like God has kind of been keeping His distance, I was shown today that He’s right there. He’s always there, and He hasn’t forgotten me, and He’s still doing work in my life. And small things happen all the time, but sometimes you just know that specific small thing is God trying to show you something in particular.
So I was watching Disney Channel today - the most I’ve watched it in quite sometime, actually. And some Wizards of Waverly Place episodes came on, and for those familiar with the show, it’s the one where Justin gets his lifetime achievement award at a banquet he throws for the “alien language league”, but what I really get a kick out of in this episode is how Alex says her favorite food is “biscuits and loose corn.” Loose corn. That tickles me a little. And not caring much about food really, I mused that I actually really approved of Alex’s food choice. I mean, who doesn’t like biscuits and corn…sorry, loose corn.
Meanwhile, my mom is cooking. I have no idea what she’s cooking. In fact, based on what I smelled, I thought she was cooking curry. Anyway, I continue to watch the Disney Channel until my mom tells me that dinner is ready. So I stand up from the couch, and what do I spot on my brother’s plate but biscuits and loose corn!
I mean, amongst other things. My mom didn’t just make biscuits and corn, but I couldn’t help but smile in secret glee. I hadn’t seen that episode of Wizards of Waverly Place in awhile, and never since the first time I’ve seen it (sometime over the summer) as my mom made biscuits and corn. In fact, I don’t know if she ever has. Yet today after seeing that episode, she does.
Now I know people would contribute that to cool coincidence. I know non-believers and heck, maybe some believers may be rolling their eyes at this. But in that moment, I knew that was God giving me a little something to smile over just to tell, “Chanelle, I’m still here. I haven’t left you hanging. I love you, and I am still here.”
It was very nice, and I appreciate it. Like what better way to show love than to connect something in my life to my favorite show? God knows what makes me happy so well. He knows that I’d get such a kick out of that, because that’s the way I am. Of course He knows. Of course. And I love Him so much for that and so much more. And honestly, I was just thrilled to see Him do something in my life. I mean, I know He has been, but to be so aware of it. It’s great.
Then there was another thing, but too much back story so we’ll leave it at that. But I was glad to hear His voice in that way. And I don’t know - can’t help but think it probably has something to do with me going to church for the first time in awhile. And you know, a lot of times we look for huge things from God in our lives, but the little things are just as special. A lot of times more personal - a small, but meaningful token of God’s love. I love that.
Just wanted to share that.
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