So there are two subjects I tend to talk about a lot on the various social networks I’m apart of:
Jesus Christ and Demi Lovato.
In fact, I am sure I have lost facebook friends and twitter followers for the amount I talk about each. Which doesn’t bother me at all.
In fact, I want to be known as a follower of Christ. I want people to think of Jesus when they think of me.
And I know people associate me with Demi Lovato. Whenever something notable happens with her, I’m the first one people think to tell (as if I didn’t already know…?)
But here’s the thing - yes, I will refer to myself as “Lovatic” (shamelessly - I don’t care if I’m 22; I freakin’ love that girl), but that’s not at all what I really identify myself as. If there’s a label I’m gonna slap on myself, a group of followers I find my identity with, it’s Christian. That’s what it is for me - follower of Jesus. He’s number one in my life.
Of course I have to keep myself in check, though. I’d be a liar if there haven’t been moments where I have to take a step back and make sure I’m not getting carried away with this Demi Lovato business, because the last thing I’d want to do is inadvertently make her an “idol” in her life, which so maybe people do with celebrities of her status. And I’ve never been one for “celebrity worship”, but it comes closer that I’d like with her sometimes (probably because I see her more than just a “celebrity”, but that is not the point of this post).
But when you wait in line for hours to just see a person in concert, you gotta double check to make sure your priorities are straight. You gotta make sure that you’d do the same for Jesus - that you’re doing the same for Jesus. Kind of referring to myself in the 2nd person here, and that’s weird. I mean, I was practically obsessed with her album “Unbroken” as in it was the only thing I really listened to for two weeks, and it’s helpful to do a self-introspective, just to make sure I’m giving Jesus even more attention.
But at the end of each brief introspective, I so certainly arrived at the same conclusion - of course Jesus Christ is above Demi Lovato! That’s a no-brainer. If Jesus was to my right and Demi as to my left, I’d be turning right every single time. I love Demi, yes, but it doesn’t even come close to how I love my Savior. So of course it’s Jesus before and above Demi. Of course. In my mind, it’s been an easy conclusion to come to.
And it’s the same with anything in life, of course (i.e. the amount of time I spent on twitter versus in the BIble, etc, etc), but I am zeroing in on Demi Lovato in this post for a reason.
The reason: Well, tonight I was made aware that Demi is giving a mini-concert in Hollywood tomorrow in which free tickets were possibly available for. Now I found out about this extremely last minute, so I knew that I probably wasn’t going to get tickets if I requested them, but still - I went berserk. I’m surprised I haven’t put “Demi Lovato Concerts” under my facebook interests or activities, but I love them so much - the best nights of my life have been spent watching her perform live in front of me.
But what drove me into further agony (exaggerated for dramatic purposes) was not just the fact that I found out so last minute, but the fact that it directly conflicted with something I’d already said I’d do: feeding the homeless with a group from church.
Now I’ve been really looking forward to this all week. Ever since I’ve gotten to California, it’s been eating at me the lack of opportunities I’ve had to just straight up serve. It’s just - life makes so much sense in those moments of service, and I just love doing it. I love God being able to use me to share his love and resources to those who truly need it, so I was so grateful for this opportunity to get to do some hands-on service - especially since homeless ministry is something that’s really on my heart (as you may have read in a previous post of mine from August).
But guys…Demi Lovato! Live performance! I just dreamed last night that I was seeing her in concert. Ever since I saw her in September, I’ve wanted so badly to just see her again. I’ve just been waiting for the next opportunity to see her live, and here it was in front of me!
And that’s where the conflict brewed. I honestly felt so torn. And the prospect of Demi was pulling me so strongly from my previous obligation. Of course all the rationalization started in my head - “I could leave early!” Except that wouldn’t work - I couldn’t do both. “It’s a rare opportunity! I can feed the homeless another time.”
Except how many times have I seen Demi Lovato in concert? Well, if I were to go tomorrow, it would be the fifth. Freakin’ five times, with the last being just a month ago where I was just a few feet from her - so close that we actually had a moment. And in the midst of this conflict waging inside of me, I knew that even if I got the ticket, I couldn’t go. I just couldn’t.
First off - integrity. I made a commitment. I’m not going to back out at the absolute last minute for my own selfish desires.
Which is conveniently reason number two - that is such an incredibly selfish thing to do. These people with no shelter, no food - they have absolutely nothing. I was going to turn my back on them to indulge myself?! I already have so much more than them, and I was going to pamper myself further by seeing a singer who I’ve already see four times before?! The more I think about it now, the more it just kind of disgusts me. That I was even considering that…
And what it really boils down to is what I was writing about earlier - Jesus Christ vs Demi Lovato. And I was always so firm that of course Jesus wins, but it’s so easy in hypothetical situations or when I’m delegating what my priorities feel like or what I just want them to be. But when faced with a practical situation that truly embodies this “conflict”, I realized that Jesus almost lost out. Because is not service to those in need what Jesus calls us to provide? This situation is what His parables are made of. Like all the stories of the rich men who could not give up their riches for Him - it’s the same principle.
And I just had this imagine of arriving in Heaven. And Jesus bringing it up, “Remember that time you went to see Demi Lovato instead of serving the homeless?” And I won’t be banished to hell or anything for it, but I think of Matthew 6:19-21, which is about storing up your treasures in heaven. And as much as I love Demi Lovato, as much as I would love to see her perform tomorrow - what does it really amount to? 50 years from now, I won’t even remember it. But sharing the love of Christ - that goes a long way. That’s permanent. That’s going to transcend into eternity.
And it just really has settled within me now. Like if my life is going to be all about Jesus, if I’m gonna follow Him with all I got, then it affects my decisions in everything. Even seemingly little things like this. Because it’s more than “Feeding the homeless vs seeing Demi Lovato perform.” It’s even more than “Jesus Christ vs Demi Lovato”. What it boils down to is “Jesus Christ vs the World.” And even if it’s nothing inherently evil that’s opposing Him in my life, it still comes down to what’s most important. Is it Jesus or is it not?
And for a second there, it almost wasn’t. I was so ready to leave the needy behind for Demi Lovato. And it honestly took a lot of internal wrestling to be set in my decision to not see Demi Lovato if I got that ticket. And even when I reached that decision, I could still feel that agonizing feeling in my chest - it was hard to be okay with my choice.
Now I’m convicted in it - it’s been a few hours now since that conflict arose. Now it’s just so glaringly obvious - if Jesus is number one in my life, He has to be in everything. And if it boils down to doing something that He commanded us to do, sharing His love, giving the resources He’s blessed me with to those who really need it over seeing my absolute favorite artist perform live, then that’s how it’s going to have to be. Because I love Demi Lovato. Heck, I love my friends even more. My family even more. But no matter what, it has to be Jesus absolutely first.
Because obviously there’s nothing wrong in going to a Demi Lovato concert (and if there is, then I’m screwed, because like I said, I’ve been four times). But to choose her over doing the work of the Lord - that’s when it becomes wrong.
It was just a little lesson for me tonight in priorities that ultimately became a strengthening in my perspective. It was reminder that Jesus has to be first in every little thing. And to not let other influences creep up in there and rob Him of his number one stop.
It reminds me of the myspace days, when I’d meticulously choose who’d be in what order on my top 8 - it was so ridiculous, but so much clout was put on that back then. And if myspace was still relevant, and I was being completely honest with myself - who (or what) would hold the number one spot?
Jesus. It has to be Him. It can’t be anyone or anything else. Everything else will fade away, but Jesus is eternal. I could indulge myself in Demi Lovato’s voice and presence for a half hour tomorrow, or I could let God use me to provide for people who otherwise may not even have a meal tomorrow night. And really, it’s a no brainer.
Just found out that the tickets are “sold out” (weird terminology to use for free tickets, but whatever…) anyway, so I guess ultimately, it didn’t matter. Except it did, because I need to know these things about myself. I need to be so sure in my faith and be willing to do whatever for it. So I’m glad for the learning experience God brought into my life. And I know there will be plenty of other times to see Demi Lovato again. But I’m more concerned with doing His will all that I can, you know?
I do have to comment on the contrast of either spending my time around the Kardashians (who are hosting the thing Demi’s performing at) or with the homeless. Granted, the Kardashians are doing this for Extreme Home Makeover, which is a great, great thing, but it kind of makes me chuckle in that ironic sort of way. This event is going to be going on literally 4 minutes away from where I’ll be feeding the homeless, and it’s crazy to think of that contrast. Kim Kardashian had a $20,000 wedding cake, and the people I’ll be serving tomorrow have nothing.
That just further drives things into perspective for me.
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