So today I went on a desperately needed run, because it’s been over a week, and I don’t wanna get out of the habit of it like I did a few years ago, because ew, yeah, I hate that.
So it’s a little rough at first, but I figured I’d get into my stride then hit my second wind, and it’ll be good. But I run in sort of a busy area, so I have to stop often a stop lights, and every time I stopped, I felt myself become particularly winded. Heart beating kind of fast, having to really catch my breath - which is kind of weird, but once again, I haven’t ran in over a week, so maybe that’s it. And I don’t feel it at all when I’m running again, so no big deal.
But the next time I stop, it just really hits me. Not just that I’m out of breath and my hearts beating fast, but I feel light headed, too. And then my head starts to cloud. Next goes my vision. It wasn’t blurry persay, but everything sort of fogged together and I couldn’t focus on anything. My chest felt so tight, and I was so out of it - I knew I was seconds away from completely passing out. Straight up fainting.
Fortunately, I remembered that I had just ran by a picnic bench randomly positioned outside the door for some veterinarian office, so I stumbled back over there as my visions is practically imploding on itself and my head is just a mess. I felt so sick, so helpless to whatever was coming over, and all I could do was pray to God that I stayed conscious.
And it wasn’t a good experience, especially when you’re running alone in a town you just moved to, but all I can do is be thankful that I retained consciousness. It was just another showing of God taking care of me, because I know I was really so close to passing out. I could feel it - I don’t even know how I made it to that bench other than by the grace of God. I caught my breath a little and my vision cleared up, and I managed to call Nina, but as I was talking to her, another wave of it hit me. I couldn’t even completely get out what I wanted to say to her, but it was enough to let her know she needed to get me. I don’t even know if the conversation was over when I hung up - I just knew I felt absolutely terrible and out of it. My vision clouded up again, and all I could do was lay pathetically on that picnic table and gather myself.
But things could’ve been way worse. So I’m thankful for God looking out for me there. And what amazes me most is how I was not scared at all - maybe I was just too out of it to feel anything but the weakness of my body, but I acknowledge that I was in a potentially dangerous situation, knew I had to call Nina, even contemplated calling 9-1-1 for a second there because I honestly didn’t know I could hold out until Nina came for a moment there, but it was never fear. Even when I stood at the intersection before I made it to the bench and my vision collapsed on itself and my mind was in a dizzy whirlwind, feeling myself in the process of fainting - I was concerned about my well-being, yes, but never fearful. Never scared. It’s either something just really wrong with me (the same thing wrong with me that doesn’t allow me to get stressed) or just the comfort and peace of God that allowed me to stay calm.
But yeah, I dunno, I just feel like I need to share every good thing God does in my life for His glory. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be, so I wanted to share that in hopes that someone got something out of it. I could’ve collapsed right there on the street, but God kept me conscious. And fortunately Nina was readily available, and I’m so grateful to her for coming to my rescue.
I just wanted to highlight that even when bad things happen, God is still there. He’s still taking care of us. I mean, crap is gonna happen, but it’s still very possible to see God’s goodness and provision through them. Like when the bumper of my car fell off on Sunday (haha smh) - it was such a blessing that it fell off at church, where people were more than happy to come help us out. Sucks that the bumper fell off, yeah, but it was probably bound to happen, so I’m glad for God’s timing that it happened at church and not at some sketchy gas station or something where we didn’t have anyone around to help.
And oh, I’m much better now. It turned out that I didn’t eat enough, because right after Nina picked me up, I got some McDonald’s, and it was the best double hamburger of my life, because I immediately felt better as I ate it. Then I came home and ate the best tuna fish sandwich of my life - I just needed more sustenance. There were probably other factors at play, too, because I know I’ve ran after only having breakfast before, but that was the main problem. Still feel a little weak and really tired, but I’m much better now, thank God.
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