Oh, how He Loves Us.

From June 28, 2010

Our God is so good.  The best thing happened today.

But it starts on Thursday, when at the Bible study I attend, we sang the worship song -  “Oh, How He Loves Us.”  I like that song.  It was nice.

The next day, one of my friend’s (who was not at the Bible study) had the lyrics to the song as his facebook status.  I commented on it.

On Saturday, the song came up while I was talking to Beth on the phone.

So that song’s been on my mind.  So today at church during worship, I was thinking how I really wanted to sing that song.  This was in the middle of upbeat, gospel style music, and though Times Square Church does slow it down some at the end of the “set”, I couldn’t remember if we’d ever even sang that song at that church before when I’d been there, and it’s a completely different style of song than we were singing, so I just figured we wouldn’t sing it.  Still, I prayed that we would.

Worship continues.  I’ve moved on in my head, forgotten about my small prayer.  As anticipated, the songs we’re singing start getting slower.  Then all of a sudden, the lead woman is singing, “He is jealous for Me…”

I about freaked (in a good way).  I don’t believe in coincidences - that was totally God, answering my prayer.  And it seems small, but it just confirmed what I was singing - He loves us.  So so much.  It was just so awesome that we sang that song in church this week.  Not last week or the week before, but this week, when I really wanted to sing it.

And oh, it gets better.

So that’s the last song we sing, and one of the pastors gets up to transition.  Now during my Bible study earlier today, before church, I came across a few verses in 2 Thessalonians about how God has chosen us for salvation, how we were called, etc.  So I wrote about how I really am so blessed to have been called to this, but also lamented over those not fortune enough.  How I truly desired that everyone could experience this, that everyone could be saved.

Well, when the pastor was talking, the first thing he says is to the extent of “how privileged we are to be able to sing ‘Oh, how He loves us’ and know that, but there are so many people who do not know this.”  And I was like “Bam! That is EXACTLY what I was mulling over earlier.”  I just love it when God reiterates things when you’re not expecting it.

So lesson of the day.  He loves us.  We’re blessed to be able to experience it.  But now we need to go and share it so that everyone else can experience it, too.

Dang, I love my God.

From the Inside Out

From September 13, 2010

From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out

From the Inside Out just came on my Pandora, and I was thinking about my history with this song - the first time I heard it was two years ago at the NYC Metro Campus Crusade for Christ Fall Retreat, and it literally changed my life.  And being me, I knew I had to have written about that song and/or experience in a facebook note, and sure enough, I did.

So I wrote this in the Fall of 2008 as a 19 year old sophomore in college.  My walk with God right now - it’s been really good lately (though I mean, there is always room for improvement), but this is still just a good reminder to myself.

So here it is:

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out

-“From the Inside Out” by Hillsong


I feel so desperate when I sing this song. Like it embodies the exact desires of my heart. The last line especially gets me every time. All the emotion nearly drives me to tears - not tears of sadness, not even exactly happiness - just pure passion and love that I can’t even begin to express as the presence of the Lord washes over me. No expression seems to do it justice. I love Him so much, I want Him so badly.

And absolutely nothing else matters. If every fiber of my living being isn’t dedicated to Him, then I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to go through life distanced from Him, feeling separated from His glory. Because I’ve been there far too many times, and every time I escape that dark place, I never want to go back. Because the comparison between being in the presence of the Lord and feeling distant from Him is so drastic - I couldn’t imagine spending an eternity away from Him. That’s exactly what Hell is - eternal separation from Him. The mere thought sends me to anguish, and I can’t help but think, “These people really don’t know what they’re missing.”

And I absolutely don’t care what anyone thinks. If I have to go through life judged and condemned, thought of as less because I’ve chosen to put my faith into a Savior and to use every shred of my gifts and talents to glorify His Kingdom, then so be it. If I never win an Oscar because I’m too consumed with creating films that reveal His power, mercy, and love, then I will be perfectly okay with that. Because what is a gold statue in the wake of God? Absolutely nothing.

So I will willingly be used and abused in anyway that is called. I will allow myself to be emotionally drained for the benefits of others. I will sacrifice success by terms of the world in order to please my Lord. Because I owe Him. I owe Him my life for I have truly been saved.

It’s the most relieving thing to feel the fire again after I let external forces douse it out over the summer due to my own weaknesses. But the beautiful part is that even though I was weak, even though I feel as if I failed, God never held it against me. He just continued to love me, and He’s been telling me this repeatedly as I’ve struggled to find my place again these past couple of months. As I felt shame and confusion, He just smiled and patiently waited for me to open my eyes. Two weekends ago, I finally did, and it’s gotten me to this point where I am walking down the street, and I’m smiling for no reason other than the fact that God is amazing, and He’s using me to do great things, and He loves me - and all the pettiness of the world just disappears when presented with those facts.

People can see it, too. As I walked down Waverly Place this afternoon, I mused over how joyful and at peace I felt. A second later, a woman approached me as I had paused to pull my gloves on. She asked me if I was a NYU student, if I went to church, if I studied the Bible, if I wanted to study it more. Once I had answered all these questions, she just continued smiling, told me ‘God Bless’, and walked off.

Initially, I was just puzzled by this random occurrence and was prepared to just shrug it off as just another one of the weird things that happen in New York. But then in occurred to me - maybe she could tell. Maybe she could tell that my life had been touched, the God had consumed me. They always say that the glory of God shines through and considering how I felt, maybe it did. Why else would this woman with apparently no agenda, walking just as I was, approach me with these questions? There had to be something different that caused her to ask me this, and I’m thinking I know exactly what it was.

His glory is amazing.

Some may scoff. It bothers me simply because I’ve become apart of the most amazing thing - I wish everyone could experience it. And that’s what I’ve decided to totally dedicate my life to - making sure everyone can experience it. If only just through a kind gesture motivated by the love of Jesus Christ, then so be it. But my life is His because without Him, I would have no life.

It is truly amazing.

The Script of Life

From October 6, 2010

Do you ever stop to think how intricately life’s worked out?

Like, you meet people who are just perfect and do you realize how much had to happen just right in order for you to meet them?

My dad is from the West Indies, my mom from New Jersey.  Both somehow ended up in Maryland during the same time.  My dad was offered jobs in various places, but decided to move to Greensboro, NC.  After five years, we move to the next town over - Jamestown, which puts me in a different school district.

I go to a private school, though.  The same private school that a girl named Beth already attends and that a girl named Carmen eventually attends.  Beth goes to public school in 6th grade.  Carmen and I stay, have every class together in 7th grade, and become great friends.  I get into some trouble that year and decide to transfer schools.

Beth and I happen to be in the same school district.  But in 8th grade, we hardly see each other.  Not like we were really friends at the point, anyway.  Friendly acquaintances at this point, after spending most of 6th grade as “frenemies.”  Half of 9th grade goes by, we hardly see each other.  Second semester of 9th grade, we have the same lunch and one class together.  By the end of the year, I’m grafted into her clique.  By the end of high school, we’re best friends.

Every single other one of my friends from my private school, I eventually lose contact with.  Except Carmen.  By senior year, she’s my best friend, too.  We hardly ever get to see each other, only spent one real year as friends at the same school, yet managed to survive.

When I’m fifteen, my mom decides to take a trip to New York City.  Never having been, I convince her to take her with me, because I have a long weekend when she wants to go.  She agrees and I fall in love at first sight with the city.  I had no real interest in it before I visited, but after that, I know I have to live there some day.  I just have to.

The first time I take my SATs, I send my score to schools based on the choice to major in Biology, go the pre-med track, eventually become a psychiatrist.  By the end of my junior year, I decide I’m going to follow my heart and make movies.  I have a list of schools that will let me play D-1 basketball whilst getting a film education.

Basketball screws me over.  Badly.  Had I been born any other year, my story surely would have been different, but timing and team dynamics and the pool of girls in the class of 2007 just don’t work out my way.  So I abandon D-1 aspirations when it came to choosing a school.

I applied to seven colleges.  I got into all of them.  I choose New York University.

Can’t say much about their back story, but my current roommates - Emily and Nina - they also chose New York University.

Once at NYU, I want to get involved with the Christian community on campus.  I go to an event called “Protestant Praise Night”, where I am promptly grabbed up my Intervarsity.  Another girl and I grab dinner at a dining hall with a few Intervarsity upperclassmen and one of their staff workers, and I figure I’d check out their fellowship.  I liked them, and I definitely wanted other Christians to hang out with.

I also left Protestant Praise Night with a piece of paper advertising a visit to the Museum of Modern Art for free that Friday with a club for Christian artists.  For my school’s orientation, I had to go to the MoMa and write a paper on one of the exhibits.  It was something I was worried about, so I was thanking God for this opportunity to go with people.

I almost left that Friday because I couldn’t find the group I was supposed to be meeting.  Right as I was turning around, I recognized a girl I had seen at the Protestant Praise Night.  That turns out to be the group.  They’re really with Campus Crusade for Christ (that artists’ group was a subset of them).  I go to the MoMa with them, go to dinner afterwards with them, and am invited to hang out a senior’s dorm for a movie even after that.  There’s also a picnic in Central Park the next day that they want me to come to - a gratefully oblige.

From there I’m invited to their large group meeting, and the rest is history.  Intervarsity is forgotten - I am a member of Cru.

Those roommates I mentioned before - they somehow found their way to Cru, too.  At least eight Christian fellowships on New York University’s campus, and we all end up at Cru.

So much has happened to lead me up to this very point in my life - to be sitting in a New York City apartment as a senior at New York University, two of my closest friends sleeping in the next room, and two more best friends down in North Carolina.  And you don’t really think about it, but when you look into the details, it really has all been meticulously planned.

And it’s amazing, because these people in my life - they are perfect for me.  In love with Christ in a world that largely chooses to ignore Him, for starters.

Thousands of people I’ve come across in my life, and the two funniest people I’ve ever experienced are my closest friends.  The only ones I’ve ever met that match my crazy, will behave uninhibited in public without a care, love to bring laughs and entertainment to others so naturally, with my same bizarre and random sense of humor.  What are the odds that people that fit together with me so perfectly would find their way into my life? 6 billion people out there.  And I get along well with plenty of others, but not quite like them.  And I’ve seen other people around and afar and all over the place, and even in those glimpses, I know that people like us are a rarity indeed.

Yet I’ve found them.  And one misstep, and I wouldn’t have.  If my dad had taken a job in Maryland instead of North Carolina, or if we’d never moved from Greensboro to Jamestown or if I just would’ve stayed at my private school like I originally was going to.  I wouldn’t have my best friends - all the memories and the laughs and the support and all else in between.  Perhaps you could say I’d just would have different best friends, but I have a feeling that they wouldn’t have been as perfect.

if I continued to choose to major in Biology (because in that case, NYU wouldn’t have been on my list) or basketball had worked out just a little better for me or if I would have just gone to Intervarsity like I’d originally been inclined to.  There’d be no Girl Conception.  The existence of the Nick Jonas rap is completely contingent on the fact that I had an assignment at the MoMa and was too much of a socially awkward person to have anyone else to go with before that point.  And a million other small choices that added up.  Two of my closest friendships because I went to Campus Crusade for Christ instead of Intervarsity.  I wouldn’t have even heard of Cru had it not been for that moment.  I had to miss Club Fair - my life would have been totally different.

It’s crazy to me - the stakes on which this very moment of my life rest on.  But it’s not so crazy, because these weren’t random occurrences that just happened to work out in my favor.  I don’t believe in chance.  God had his hand on every little detail of my life, guiding everything to lead up to what was meant to be.  And it’s amazing to think that He knew exactly what would lead to what.  And that it’s still happening.  A decision  made tomorrow could lead me to another amazing thing years in the future.  It’s all so intricately woven together, and I must say, God is the most amazing screenwriter.

Looking back on how well everything has worked out - it just strengthens my faith.  It reminds me of how much God is in control.  I love that.  I love Him.  Good night.

Lessons.

From October 13, 2010

New perspective suddenly.  I knew God had to be trying to tell me something this weekend.  I’m struggling to find what. Bringing up all these emotions that I didn’t even know I still had or were prone to…what’s the deal with that?

I guess one thing He’s trying to say is that I’m not complete.  Not that I ever thought I am, but I do know that I tend to get complacent when things are going good.  I look at my life and feel satisfied sometimes, because some of these issues that people struggle with - that’s not me.  I have issues, of course, but not any of those.  No, not at all.

Wrong, of course.  And even if I was better off than others (which I’m not), it’s not others in which I’m setting my standards against.  It’s Jesus.  And fact of the matter is, I am no where near Him in my behavior, action, attitude.  Even my best days fall infinitely short of His glory.

And I think maybe God’s trying to show me that.  This bitterness, this anger - I’ve been hurt and I can honestly say it was undeserving and not my fault, so it’s justifiable.  I don’t think God’s telling me that I shouldn’t be upset.  I think God’s telling me that even when I’ve been scorned, it takes something special to look at my offender and still say, “I love you.”  To say, “Yeah, you’ve hurt me, but I’m gonna move past that and not bear any ill-will against you.” That’s what He would do.  That’s what He does every day.  We hurt him so much with things we do, the way we live our life, but all He ever does is look at us and say, “I love you.”

I thought I was strong enough to forgive.  I’m not.  True forgiveness, I’m starting to see, means forgetting.  I’m not there yet.  I’m not sure when I’ll ever be there.  I know God’s working on me.  He’s still healing me.  And I don’t think He expects me in this moment to be able to set aside all of my pain and wounds, to forget trespasses made against me, and rise to the occasion with unconditional love and true forgiveness.  These things take time and understandably so.  A deep wound doesn’t heal in a second - it’s a long process.  He knows I’m weak and still so tender and hurting more than I’ve hurt in awhile.  But I think He wants me to keep that in mind.  And work towards it.

It brings a little clarity to things.  A little.  He’s building me up, I can feel it.  And I know even when I don’t understand, when I can’t see the light, that God’s there with everything under control.  If there’s one thing I’ve especially learned recently, it’s that God knows what He’s doing and that He can redeemed any situation.

God Turns a Life Around

From January 12, 2011

It’s amazing - the second I get myself in check with my relationship with God, realize that I’d been slipping and letting external matters get me down, and start to straighten it all out, things really start to turn around.  God is so faithful.  If you follow Him wholeheartedly, He will definitely come through, every single time.  The difference in my feelings, the resurgence of hope I’ve been feeling - I know it’s nothing less than Him.

Amazing what really putting your hope in Him and striving for His will will do for your life.  And the changes are almost instantaneous - it’s amazing.  My state of mind between now and last week - so different.  God’s got this.  I am soo excited for the future and what He has in store for my life!

Small Things Matter

From April 4, 2011

So lately, I’ve kind of felt like I’ve been “left hanging.”  One of those disconcerting, frustrating times where I can’t really feel God like I’m accustomed to.  Like I just floating aimlessly in space.  Even though I feel like I’ve been doing everything right - studying the Word, praying, trying to keep focused on Jesus - lately I’ve almost felt ignored.  I mean, I know that’s the case.  I know He loves me, and He’s constantly watching me.  But you know how us humans can get sometimes, and you know the lies the devil tries to tell us.

Anyway, this morning I went to church for the first time in longer than I care to say, which probably goes to show that maybe I haven’t been doing everything right.  I love church, I craved church, but I miss Times Square or Trinity Grace up in New York, and I miss evening services, so that’s been holding me back.  But I knew I needed to go, so even though the church we go to here isn’t really my favorite and we’re always late and miss the worship anyway, I sucked it up and got myself up to go with my mom.

I was going on maybe four hours of sleep, so I wasn’t as alert as I could be.  My attention span sucks anyway.  So I was kind of in and out, admittedly and unfortunately.  But there is something so comforting of just being surrounded by believers in the house of God, regardless.  And I got the gist of it - focus on Jesus.  Okay. Cool.

But this isn’t about church.  Yet I can’t help but feel like it led to something else.  Subtly started a chain reaction.  Because though lately I felt like God has kind of been keeping His distance, I was shown today that He’s right there.  He’s always there, and He hasn’t forgotten me, and He’s still doing work in my life.  And small things happen all the time, but sometimes you just know that specific small thing is God trying to show you something in particular.

So I was watching Disney Channel today - the most I’ve watched it in quite sometime, actually.  And some Wizards of Waverly Place episodes came on, and for those familiar with the show, it’s the one where Justin gets his lifetime achievement award at a banquet he throws for the “alien language league”, but what I really get a kick out of in this episode is how Alex says her favorite food is “biscuits and loose corn.”  Loose corn.  That tickles me a little.  And not caring much about food really, I mused that I actually really approved of Alex’s food choice.  I mean, who doesn’t like biscuits and corn…sorry, loose corn.

Meanwhile, my mom is cooking.  I have no idea what she’s cooking.  In fact, based on what I smelled, I thought she was cooking curry.  Anyway, I continue to watch the Disney Channel until my mom tells me that dinner is ready.  So I stand up from the couch, and what do I spot on my brother’s plate but biscuits and loose corn!

I mean, amongst other things.  My mom didn’t just make biscuits and corn, but I couldn’t help but smile in secret glee.  I hadn’t seen that episode of Wizards of Waverly Place in awhile, and never since the first time I’ve seen it (sometime over the summer) as my mom made biscuits and corn.  In fact, I don’t know if she ever has.  Yet today after seeing that episode, she does.

Now I know people would contribute that to cool coincidence.  I know non-believers and heck, maybe some believers may be rolling their eyes at this.  But in that moment, I knew that was God giving me a little something to smile over just to tell, “Chanelle, I’m still here.  I haven’t left you hanging.  I love you, and I am still here.”

It was very nice, and I appreciate it.  Like what better way to show love than to connect something in my life to my favorite show?  God knows what makes me happy so well.  He knows that I’d get such a kick out of that, because that’s the way I am. Of course He knows.  Of course.  And I love Him so much for that and so much more.  And honestly, I was just thrilled to see Him do something in my life.  I mean, I know He has been, but to be so aware of it.  It’s great.

Then there was another thing, but too much back story so we’ll leave it at that.  But I was glad to hear His voice in that way.  And I don’t know - can’t help but think it probably has something to do with me going to church for the first time in awhile.  And you know, a lot of times we look for huge things from God in our lives, but the little things are just as special.  A lot of times more personal - a small, but meaningful token of God’s love.  I love that.

Just wanted to share that.

The Best Makeover Is One Given By God

From June 9, 2011

I want to introduce you to this new person I’ve been becoming.  Well, let’s take the emphasis off of me - that God’s been shaping me into.

It’s all subtle, of course.  People who have been with me the whole time probably won’t notice too much of a difference.  Like when you never realized how much your brother has changed until you see a picture of him from two years ago and you realize all that transformation has gone on right in front of your eyes.

But it’s there.  And with me, I can feel it more than anything.  The nature of my journal entries.  The thoughts I have.  My intentions.  My struggles, in comparison to what they used to be.  They’re new ones, which just means that God’s allowed me to overcome the old ones.  And I’m at a stronger point in which I can handle these new challenges which will just allow me to grow even more.

I’ll tell you that October 4, 2007, I decided that I wanted to be famous.
I’ll also tell you that June 8, 2011, I don’t want to be famous at all.

The thought of being a celebrity - disgusting.  But it’s amazing, because the same passions, ambitions, and everything else I’ve had since I was barely eighteen - they just revolve around something else.  Because I could’ve said all I want that my aim for fame was set in my Christian faith, but fact of the matter is, I was justifying is “I want to be famous so I can glorify God” when it all actuality, it should have been “I want to glorify God.”

And writing about and dwelling on this last night, I came to a conclusion - it’s not fame that I want, but influence.  And it’s still such a fine line between a worldly desire and a Godly one, but so much in me wants to creative amazing things that will touch people in the right way, that they’ll be able to see the love of God through, that will bring the world closer to Him.  And though I don’t care to become a household name, I would love for my work to be in every household.  Because I want my work to be inspired by and saturated by God, and I want God to be in every household.

And it’s taken years for God to slowly drive me to this point.  Struggles, disappointment, and confusion.  It was a hard lesson to learn, a hard viewpoint to change.  But looking back, it’s amazing to see this gradual progressive that the Lord has brought me through.  He took this selfish, worldly desire of mine and changed it completely for Him.  I craved fame because of this innate quality of mine that loves attention.  Then I became aware that if I was famous, then I might as well use it for God.  The fame thing died down a little then came back into full resurgence two years ago - at actually a relatively strong point in my walk with God that summer, I became obsessed with the idea of being a famous Christian.  I thought it was noble.

But even with something so seemingly “pure” - it was still eating at me in the worst way, all the days I went without it.  And I could never seem to learn how to be content where I was and to trust in God’s timing.  But last summer - things really started to set in.  And that’s when fame fell out of the equation - or at least I stopped saying that I wanted to be famous.  Truly I was no longer aiming for it, but part of me still wouldn’t mind if that happened.  A part of me I kind of swept aside still did want it, but it was far from the focus.  And all I ever wanted to do was still there - make films, so sketch comedy, and perform raps.  But the intent and motive was slowly being transformed.

Bringing me to this moment.  There is a lot that the past six months have entailed.  Ups and downs - mainly downs that eventually slowly went up ahead to an amazing up where my life is more or less the exact same as it was in February, yet somehow much better.   And there is no doubt in my mind that I still have so much more to grow, but it’s amazing to see how much I have grown since I officially became an “adult.”  And I was so confident in my maturity when I turned eighteen, but retrospectively I see that I wasn’t even close.

And I’m not close now, but it really doesn’t matter, because man, I have the greatest Ally in the world on my side, constantly forming me.  And the lessons He’s been teaching me are invaluable.  Mostly, the thing He’s been trying to instill within me for years - patience and trust in His timing.  And it’s no coincidence that the moment that lesson finally begins to really set in is when things start to move forward.  I mean, I bought a freakin’ one way ticket to Los Angeles last night!  Back when I was eighteen, I was so sure that God was calling me to Los Angeles.  I tried to buy a plane ticket, even got a job, but everything fell through.  And now three years later, I don’t even have a job yet God’s blessed me with the means to go forth with it.  It just goes to show that He was calling me to Los Angeles - it was just a matter of timing.

So you know, the future is bright, solely because God is involved.  He’s teaching me to embrace everything - the uncertainties, the long periods of waiting, the frustrations, because there’s a purpose and solution behind them all.  I have no idea what’s going to happen with that plane touches down on the West Coast in less than three months.  I know what my dreams are made up of, but I know that God has greater plans than I could ever imagine.  He’s revealed some things to me - I have a general direction, but all in all, the canvas is blank, and that is amazing.  There’s this amazing peace in involved in just giving every little thing to God.  To not let the things of this world influence or effect me, but rather surrender everything I have to Him, because, well, it’s His to begin with  And the makeover He’s been giving my perspective is just amazing.  I feel so renewed.  I feel a little better suited for the what He has for me.

And I feel so grateful for all the waiting I’ve been doing.  The hard six months, the up and downs of the past few years, because I see now how necessary that really was.  God wants me to succeed, but He wants me to be well suited for His plans and will.  He doesn’t want to throw me out into the battle unprepared, and these past few years have been preparation.  And I don’t even know if I’m there yet, but I know I’m so much closer than I ever have been.  And it’s just…God is amazing.  He really is.

So I’m approaching my life with a new perspective.  Total trust and faith in God. A reordering of priorities.  A mission to strive to treat everyone with complete love and compassion, no matter who they are or what they’ve done for me, and to share with them the love and gospel of Jesus.  And a willingness to do everything to serve God’s purpose and glorify His will.  I am thoroughly convinced that that is what life is to be.  And I feel so free, happy and at peace because of it.

I hope people reading this can pull some encouragement from my on-going journey.  To know that God’s constantly working in our lives and in who we are, even if it doesn’t seem like it.  To have confidence that His timing is absolutely the best.  And the thing I wish I would’ve realized the most as I went through this all - things go much easier and smoother if you’re not resisting it.  But that probably goes without saying.

God bless!

Time Spent With God

From August 19, 2011

It really is disconcerting, the amount of time I spent with God.  ‘Cause even if I spend an hour on quiet time, there’s still 23 other hours in the day.

Granted, just having a Godly mindset in all things all throughout the day does certainly count for something. Seeing Him in all that happen, praying throughout the day, keeping Him on my mind and allowing my faith to affect my actions and speech - I do that, for sure.  I am often conscious of Him.

But when I think of the time I consciously spend with Jesus, and the time I consciously spend on everything else - there is certainly an imbalance.  And there should be an imbalance, but often times the scale’s tilted in the wrong direction.

I’m just been compelled to really make sure I set aside more time where it’s all about Jesus.  More than just reading the Word and praying when I wake up and then that’s it for the rest of the day until I pray before bed - but more moments throughout the day where I just stop everything else and consciously spend time just with the Lord.

I just took some time now after my shower to do that, and it’s just amazing how simply refreshing it was.  It’s something I really need to do more of instead of wasting time on facebook or tumblr.  Just spending time with my Father, Provider, and Best Friend.

Because thinking about it, I hang out with my earthly best friend around 5 times a week, for 2-3 hours at a time.  And of course, since we’re both believers, Jesus is definitely in our midst, so it is like we’re spending time with Him as well, but it does certainly put things in perspective.

I guess there’s more to it than at a glance.  But I just know Jesus is the most important thing in my life, so I have to act like it and thus delegate my time, attention, and focus appropriately.

Gosh, I love Him…