Money, money, money

From October 5, 2010

The past three years have instilled in me a great disdain for money.

The past three years have also showed me that God will provide, no matter what.

So many times I was days from the end of the month, not knowing how I was going to pay rent.  So many days, I wondered how I possibly was going to be able to eat for the week.  And every single time, God has came through with all that I needed.  Without fail, because here I am with a roof over my head and not starving.

But money - oh, I hate it so much.  There was a moment the other day where I just realized for sure that I just can’t have a lot of it ever in my life.  Having to live off the bare minimum these past few months especially, it has changed my perspective on a lot of things, and I know how much money I need to be happy - and that’s no money at all.  Yet, I am also very excited about the prospect of earning a lot of money someday, so I can be very generous with it and just give it all away.  I just don’t want it.  I imagine it being like a hot potato, and casting it out of my hands as soon as possible.  I’m not saying to be like “Oh, look at me! I’m Miss Charity!”  I just seriously hate money so much after the ordeals I’ve gone through with it these past few years.

I didn’t even know how well off I was growing up.  I had no idea.  When people at school would call me “rich”, I’d scoff at them and debate it.  I didn’t realize that my dad drove a luxury car or my house was bigger than most.  I suppose that’s a testimony to how my parents raised me, because I had no idea.

Well, I didn’t have an idea until that all changed.  I took the lifestyle I grew up with for granted because I didn’t know how nice it actually was.  Then suddenly, the money wasn’t there.  It still isn’t there.  And that drastic shift in the state of my family’s finances put a lot of things in perspective for me.  I was never was particularly materialistic to begin with, but now I definitely see a bigger picture.  It revealed a lot about the nature of God as well as the nature of money.  And though it’s still so hard, and not just because of the contrast, I can’t help but almost feel a little grateful for experiencing what it’s to be without.  It has definitely changed my financial mindset.

It’s stressful and worrisome having to be concerned with money.  I’ve seen what a lack of it does to people.  I’ve seen what an influx of it does to people as well.  Materialism in any sense is such an acidic thing.  It eats away at you, it consumes you.  The best thing I’ve ever done (and it’s most definitely a recent development) is to not care about money at all.  God will provide, so I spend money on my necessities and know that I will always have enough to be provided for.  Eliminating the worry of “Can I really buy this, even though I need a decent meal?” has left me a lot freer.

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

I Timothy 6:6-10

Now I'm not really trying to get into politics here...

From March 1, 2011

But I can’t help but find it just a little ironic that so many Christians are vehemently opposed to the idea of socialism, considering the verse in Acts that I came across today:

Acts 4:32-35


Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common.  And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus.  And great grace was upon them all.  Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles’ feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need.

Definitely can’t say I’m a socialist.  Capitalism is what I’m used to, what I assumed was best, even though I am very much for the idea of the tax dollars of the rich going to help out the poor.  So I guess I am on board with wealth distribution.  But reading this, I couldn’t help but be struck with the idea that capitalism really isn’t a Christian ideal.  Acts is often cited as the ideal example of what a Christian community is supposed to be like, and in this passage, all possessions are evenly distributed amongst the believers.

Now whether this could actually work in secular government - well, I necessarily don’t think so because it’s secular government, which is why I’m not really trying to drag politics into this.  But I can’t help but feel like the Christians who subscribe passionately to the belief of capitalism in the terms of a secular government would not be able to give up that belief in terms of Christian community.  It’s not just a switch that can be turned off, but rather something built up on the idea of “what’s mine is mine and no one else’s” when in reality, nothing is ours.  All of it is God’s.

So if God blesses us with something, isn’t it the natural response to share it with others?  And why does that act have to be limited to just non-believers?  Why are we as supposed followers of Jesus -  who lived on practically nothing while He was on earth - so selfish with our belongings and money?  Why do we hold tight to our cash, refusing to give it to be who we think don’t deserve it because “they dug their own grave” or “they didn’t work hard enough”?  If we are supposed to be filled with true, selfless love, why does that even matter?  If anything, we should give because why need to do we have for worldly possessions anyway in light of what we have in God?

But I do realize that that passage refers specifically to a group of believers, not to an entire government system.  But I just think if we should be willing to have that kind of attitude, regardless.  I feel like, as Christians, we should definitely have the Robin Hood mentality.  Because you may feel like you earned your money, but nope, you were blessed with it by God.  I really don’t think it’s up to us to decide what we used what we’re blessed with for - I think it’s up to He who blessed us with it.

The books of Acts to me describes the ideal life.  And reading that passage up there - oh, that sounds so amazing.  See, I think one of the reasons for sharing all things like that is that it shows where these disciples’ true priority is.  It’s not money or pride, but spreading the Word of God to all.  They use money exactly as its meant to be used - to fulfill their basic needs, then they dedicate their lives to something much more important.  Money is clearly not a concern of theirs.  And if these believers are the ultimate epitome of believers - Jesus’ followers as their finest - then how come we don’t live like this?  I say we, because I mean, I’m not either.  It’s so interesting to think about it.

Because if you think about it, believer or non-believer, almost everybody exists day-by-day to make money.  I don’t want that to drive my existence - no, not by any means.  But we go to school to get into a good college to get a good job with good benefits so that once we’re done working for 40 years, we can have enough money to survive until we die.  I can’t help but think about how much more could be accomplished with money removed from the equation.  Which is hard, of course.  Can’t live without food, can’t buy food without money.  But I still think that our priorities could use some shifting. Our number one aim, the reason we should live, is to glorify God and spread the gospel.  Like Matthew 6:33 says - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

So that’s what I strive for.  I want to experience life like Acts.  Sharing all my belongings and possessions with a group of believers (and the rest of the world) and pursuing God’s purpose and glory passionately with them.  That’s my vision for my life in Hollywood.  Christians who entertain using those talents and passions to bring people to the Lord.  Living together in every sense of that word and giving away everything except what we absolutely need, and sharing in that together.  That sounds like life perfected to me.

It’s a vision I’m going to believe in.  One I’m gonna pray over.  One I’m gonna pursue.  Because I’m never gonna be happy if all I’m working for is money, and if I can’t share that I have with people.

I’m not sure if this is controversial haha I’m not really into arguing, but I felt the need to write this.  Just really convicted about what God showed me through Acts, so I just wanted to share.  And I am interested in people’s thoughts about this.  But I’m not looking to argue.  Just to see both agreeing and opposing opinions on the matter.

So let’s talk about serving. Because it’s important.

From August 20, 2011

It’s something that’s always been on my heart, but really strongly as of late.  Of course there are many ways one can serve many different people, and I believe as Christians we should just always be in the mindset of servitude, as stated in Philippians 2:3-5 :

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only in his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus

But I want to talk specifically on serving those who are less fortunate.  Mainly to just implore people to just get out there and give of themselves to others.  Chances are, if you’re able to access facebook/twitter/tumblr right now, then you are much better off than a lot of people.  The statistics out there are staggering of people living in poverty, people who can’t afford food - and people like to highlight children in Africa, who are no doubt important, but there are people right there in your own community who need so much.

And fact of the matter is, not enough people are helping them.  Even sadder - not enough Christians are helping them, and this is what we’re called to do.  Our priorities are seriously messed up sometimes as believers - yes, yes, yes, it’s completely important to just even have a belief in Jesus and to follow His commandments, but what are His greatest commandments?  To love Him and then to love others. (Matthew 22:34-39).  And how do we do that?  Very simply - serve.

In fact, serving others covers both of those commandments up there.  “As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me” (Matthew 25:40 - I recommended that whole passage actually).  And for as encouraging it is to see people coming together to serve and feed those in need, it’s just as frustrating to see so many others pass them by.

I live in a decent sized city - but nothing too big at all.  And there’s this one street that stretches across most of the city, but the most popular area of it stretches about 3 miles.  And in just that three mile stretch, my best friend and I saw seven different people out there, with signs asking for help.

And maybe it’s me, but that just struck me so hard - seven different people, standing out in this hot hot NC weather, laying themselves at the mercy of people driving by to provide them with a little bit of help.  And the tragic truth is that there isn’t much mercy going around these days.

And it’s not a haughty thing, it’s not a self-righteous thing - I just simply don’t understand how people cannot stop and give a little.  Now I know it’s more to it than that, but I think if we really looked at the excuses we made, we’d find them either flimsy or just not important when we look at the big picture.  Now if you don’t have any cash on you (goodness knows I hardly ever carry cash - bad habit, by the way) and have a meeting you’re heading to in 5 minutes, then fine.  And not that I expect everyone to do what my friend and I did today - go out there with food and water with the intentions of giving it out - because it was premeditated, not us just randomly driving down the street.  But it’s still disconcerting to me to be out there and see how many cars go by without a glance or consideration.  And I have a hard time believing that every single person had a good excuse not to even give a little bit.

And I know, I know - “how do I know that these ‘homeless’ out there are legit? How do I know they’re not gonna spend the money I give them on alcohol?  I rather give my money to an organization where I know what my money is being used for.”

Somewhat legitimate concerns.  Sort of.  And I get it. But I think there is something to be said for immediate service.  Because you can go home after you see those people on the streets and donate to your favorite organization a sizable donation, but in the mean time, those people are still standing out in the hot sun, no doubt hungry, probably a little bit dehydrating.

Secondly, I agree that it’s better to give something like food than money.  But that’s also because I don’t really put much stock in money, period - in general, I personally would rather be handed a sandwich than a $5 bill haha And giving food also really speaks to their direct needs in a more immediate way.  But I don’t think that’s to say that if you don’t have any food on you that you shouldn’t still give them some cash.

Here’s the deal.  “How do I know they actually need this money and aren’t scamming me?”  How many people are going to stand out in 90 degree weather on a busy street, swallowing all pride to beg if they don’t need it?  I don’t care about that one story you heard about the guy who asked for money then got into a Mercedes a few minutes later - even if that did happen, I’m sure that’s a one in a million scenario.  Fact of the matter is, to stand out there asking for help like that, you either have to be at least a little crazy or you have to actually really need that help because it’s your last resort.  So I think there’s a very high chance that the people out there legitimately need help.

Next question - “How do I know they won’t spend their money on booze?” You don’t.  You can assume, guess, give benefits of the doubt, but you really really don’t know.  But God doesn’t call us to serve, but only under certain conditions.  God doesn’t tell us to help … but only in these cases.  We’re called to love and serve people, and what that person does with your money is between them and God.  So let’s not worry about that so much and just do what we’re called to do.  Because I highly doubt that when the events of Matthew 25:31-46 take place, God’s going to say, “So yeah, what you did to the least of these, you did it to Me…except that one guy bought alcohol with your money, so tsk tsk, you shouldn’t have given him money - go stand to left because of that.”

I think we’re supposed to fully adopt a true servant’s heart, and if we let God live through us and are compelled and motivated to do His service, then details like “what are they going use this for?” don’t really matter.  And we can just find joy in being able to invest in the life of someone who really needs it.

I just really don’t think there’s any real excuse not to give, at least in someway.  I used to struggle with this mindset of “Well, I don’t have much to give now, but when I eventually do get money - that’s when I’ll give.”  But here’s the thing - first off, as believers, we have this guarantee that all of our needs will be provided for (Matthew 6:25-34 comes to mind - one of my favorites, actually).  They absolutely will be met, and I’m very inclined to believe that they especially will if we’re giving (Proverbs 19:17).  Now I don’t like the idea of doing good for the sake of reward.  I just don’t think that should be the motivation at all, but the fact is, we will be rewarded for our deeds.

And there have been times that I was far from set financially, living off of the absolute bare minimal - having enough food especially was a concern for me - and as a result, I was certainly reluctant to give the little I had to someone else.  But the thing is, there’s always someone who needs it more than I do.  I wasn’t the worst off I could’ve been, and God kept on continually providing for my needs, so there really was no excuse for me to not give. And often times, God has used a brother or sister in Christ to provide for my needs, so I think that goes full circle, and He can in turn use me to provide for another’s needs.  There’s a particular passage that I love because it motivates me to keep in this mindset:

Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and He saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins.  And He said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them.  For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

    Luke 21:1-4

I heard someone say once, “If you don’t give when you have a little, you won’t give when you have a lot either.”  Which I don’t necessarily believe is entirely untrue, but I think it’s important to be in the habit now, regardless of income.  Because if anything, you certainly will continue to give, and even more so, when you do have a lot, if you’re already in the habit of giving when you have a little.  And I think that just forms a good kind of relationship with money if you give when you have a little - shows less of a dependency on cash, and more on God.  But I’m straying a little here.

This is long, I realize, but I just really want more people to get out there and serve.  Capitalism is such a frustrating institution - it screws over a lot of people, and the government has kind of be trying, but the right amount of help just doesn’t get to every single person who needs it.  And every bit of legislation that gets turned down that could help people living in poverty frustrates me so much, but then I realize - I’m not gonna put this in the hands of the government.  We lived in a flawed world with flawed institutions.  Instead, I’m gonna put this in the hands of Jesus and His principles.  And we can go out there and help people ourselves - every little thing counts.  Like that story about the poor widow - even if we don’t have much, people have much less - let’s serve and give all we can.

Of course, as Christians, I feel like the call of service doesn’t stop at just giving people some food and money and calling it a day, but also really investing in their lives, personally showing them love, engaging with them, and yes, sharing the Gospel.  I haven’t done this myself in my recent time serving the homeless, but I want to change that, because I think it’s so important.  It’s hard when you’re literally driving by in the midst of on-going traffic to give some food, but I would love to just talk to these people, out of love - I’m sure they’d appreciate it, too.  So I guess in addition to serving, I would implore everyone to talk to the people they serve, too.  That’s what I’m gonna focus on doing.

I hope this didn’t come off as pretentious or anything.  Matthew 6:3, after all.  But I just felt like maybe if I shared a little bit my feelings on serving and such that it could help encourage people to go out there and serve as well.  I just have these moments after God has giving me the opportunity to help someone of this kind of peace of, “This is what life is”, you know?  It’s what makes sense to me, more than anything - God has us here as believers for a reason.  We’re gonna be fine, you know - but not everyone else has that luxury of knowing that, so I think it’s on us to go out and help them be fine.  Both in their physical needs and in their spiritual ones.

So I really just implore you - please the next time you see a homeless person or anyone just out on the street asking for help (because they’re not all homeless, persay but that doesn’t mean they aren’t living in intense poverty), don’t pass them by.  Even if you have loose change on you - anything really to show to love of Jesus to someone who needs so much.

And I definitely would encourage anyone to go out there to intentionally serve these people.  It’s just such a great thing - not in the “oh, I’m so great for doing this” sort of way.  Not at all.  But just to see the genuine, grateful smiles of these people, to be so close to God’s heart in those moments, to be able to share in that with my best friend, to know the blessing of God being able to use me for His purpose.  It’s humbling, it’s enlightening, it’s meaningful, and it’s peaceful.  There’s such a simple, but true joy to be found in that.  As there is when following any of God’s commandments.

And to be able to come back home, knowing that someone’s day is a little better in the midst of hardships they have to endure - it makes me feel really good.  Not about myself, but for them.

It really is such a shame, all the people out there going through so much, struggling for even their basic needs - the things we all take for granted so much.  So I just think of the big difference that could be made if all of us consciously gave more and served more.  I’m not a big financial knowledge person, so I don’t know if there actually is enough money to go around to provide for everyone, but I certainly know it could evened out some.

Last thing that’s sort of related - don’t waste food.  Please just don’t.  Get a doggy bag and eat it later or something, but just seeing how the people I saw today reacted to a $1 chicken sandwich and comparing that to the amount of uneaten food people left on their tables at the last job I worked at - it’s just ridiculous.

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?  Can that faith save him?  If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?  So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

    James 2:14-17

God bless.

You Know Why I'm Not Into Occupy Wall Street?

From November 18, 2011

Because I don’t put my faith in the government.  And I know that everybody doesn’t have that luxury.

But they could.

Matthew 6:25-33
Philippians 4:19

So yeah, there’s debt from my incredibly expensive college education lurking around back there (thank goodness for forbearance).  Yeah, I’m currently unemployed.  Sure, I’m in the 99% or whatever.  But I’m completely fine.  And I’m gonna be fine.

And it could always be worse.  It’s ironic to me the kinds of people for the most part backing this movement.  So many people are getting screwed over by our system, yes - but the ones protesting are shooting videos of the action with their iPhones, and it’s so hard to be sympathetic to that when there are people who have no idea that Occupy Wall Street is going on because they’re starving somewhere in Africa.

Or starving somewhere right down the street from me.

And I’m sure there are homeless people involved in the Occupy Wall Street movement, so I’d hate to be the one to generalize when I honestly don’t know too too much about what exactly is going on, but here, I find this article to be very interesting: http://theweek.com/article/index/220968/does-occupy-wall-street-have-a-homeless-problem

I just feel like the ones who are most desperate, the ones who actually have the most right to complain about their situations are the ones not causing a ruckus in New York City because they’re too busy trying to figure out where their next meal is coming from.  They’re more likely to hold up signs that say “hungry” than “Occupy Wall Street!”, and it’s not that I’m not sympathetic to what Occupy Wall Street stands for - I am - but I admit that I am quite wary as to what this method is actually accomplishing.

I feel like it’s the cool thing in our generation to be revolutionary, but it’s less of being revolutionary for a purpose, but more so just for the sake of being seen as some cool revolutionary.  If that makes sense haha I feel like at this point, the flaws and corruption of this system are so deeply rooted that pissing off a bunch of rich people is not going to make any difference.

Which is why I’m not holding out hope that our government can change.  But I am living on the hope that my God will provide for me.  And the Occupy Wall Street movement is protesting greed, but I find the whole movement in itself to be quite self focused.  It’s the 99% wanting the money that the 1% has - is that not just another form of greed?

The issue is that we all - whether we’re filthy rich or terribly poor - put all of our stock in money, as if all of the answers to life and our true happiness lie in it, and it doesn’t at all.  And whether you have a lot of it or none of it, you’re eventually just going to die and it won’t matter anyway.  That’s why we have to put our stock in something else.  There’s a greater purpose out there - it’s not money, it’s the love of Jesus, and there’s enough to go around plenty for everyone.

And I don’t have much money at all, but I am so satisfied with my life simply because I have Him.  Money doesn’t matter.  People will try to call me a liar, try to debate that, but it doesn’t.  I find that all of my needs always end up being provided, and I don’t have to protest or covet anyone else’s money.  I’m taken care of.  Putting my trust in Jesus has proven to be the best thing for my life.

So let the rich keep their money.  It’s not going to benefit them in the grave, I’ll tell you that much.  Is it right for them to hoard the money to themselves?  I certainly don’t think so, but you can’t put your faith in humankind because that will absolutely fail you.  That’s why I’ve practically abandoned politics, because Republican or Democrat, it’s all corrupt, it’s all flawed, and as much as I want to believe in a system that will equally cater to every single person they’re supposed to represent and protect - regardless of class - I know too much greed and selfishness exist in this convoluted bureaucracy for that to ever truly happen.  So I’ll just do my part - instead of trying to depend on the government to help those in need, I’ll just give what I can, hope others do the same, and pray through it all, knowing that my God will be faithful.

I don’t know if this is too controversial or not.  And I don’t claim to know all I should about Occupy Wall Street and all of those involved.  I just know that I don’t feel the need to protest, because my life is not in the hands of those on Wall Street, contrary to popular belief.

And I also believe we need to keep the right perspective about this.  We fall so easily into this “oh, poor little me!” trap, when in reality, most of us are far more blessed than we ever realize.  We gotta check ourselves.  Are we just mad at the rich because they have more than us and we want more, too?  Because that makes us just like them.  Not saying that’s the case with everyone - but we just gotta check ourselves.  You don’t have to be rich to be greedy.

That’s all.  Not looking to incite anything or to shove my beliefs down anyone’s throat or even looking for people agreeing with me.  That’s just been mulling around my head, so I wrote it.  The end.