Y'all Ought to be Ashamed.

From August 10, 2008

Yeah, I'm about to chew you out.

I don't know where anyone gets off thinking that the word "nigger" is okay to say depending on the context. And I think it's very ridiculous to say "white people can be 'n words', too" yet every time I've heard that word used these past few months, it was not in regards to anyone white.

I know that I spent nine months at NYU, in which black people are the extreme minority, yet I never heard the 'n word' ever uttered. To go even further, I didn't even encounter the more subtle racism - the slight discrimination, the "casual" verbal judgments. The only references to me even being black were made by myself in a joking manner or by other minorities, also in a joking manner. But outside of that, there were at the most two references made in the WHOLE year by the majority group to me being black.

It's a Southern thing.

Everybody's racist, though. Don't even attempt to deny it. I hate it when people try to preface statements with "I'm not racist, but...", because yes, you are, and yes that statement you're about to say is sooo racist. Unfortunately in this current society, it's a bit of an inherent thing. But what you say, how you act, and the unfair judgments you make can be controlled.

So if a black person pisses you off, there's no reason to be calling him the n-word. Surely you have to know the history behind that word. How demeaning it has always been and how it was created to be geared solely towards black people. Thus, it is highly disrespectful to use that word. Period - I don't care if you only use that in regards to "ghetto" people or you even all white people that sometimes, it's still a highly offensive and completely disrespectful term.

Now my feelings don't get hurt every time that's said. I just get upset because it showcases ignorance and disrespect. You throw around such a weighted and negative term like it's nothing, like a group of people haven't been fighting against it and other discriminations for generations. Call someone an "asshole". I can't say I condone of that, either, but at least it has none of the attached sentiments that the n-word, though.

I was talking to Carmen about this, and she understood my views of how I don't take it personally, but just find it incredibly disrespectul and thus, infuriating, because that's the way that she gets with the word "faggot." It is, in fact, that same deal. Leading into this.

I am not a gay rights activist. I'll be honest - I'm a Christian, the Bible does say that a man should not lay with a man the way he does a woman, and do find it to be unnatural. However, the treatment of homosexuals is appalling. The "f-word" is meant to demean and belittle a specific group of people. In the same way as the "n-word", it's a term that dehumanizes, thus implying that that individual is not good enough to be given an actual identity, so thus he will be called the "f-word" instead.

See, that is some people have such severe problems with Christians. We're supposedly apart of a faith built about love, yet some of us throw around those terms like nothing, though obviously they are quite hurtful. Do you seriously think that if Jesus was on Earth right now, he'd go around to gay people, calling them "faggots" and "queers." No, this is Jesus, who hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors - the bottom of society at that time.

The foundation of Christianity is love. God loved us so much that He gave His only Son to die for our sins. Thus we are to show love in return - both to God and to those around us. Love, not condemn. Not treat a group of people so differently because we don't agree with their lifestyles.

It's quite hypocritical, too, in many ways, but especially because a lot Christians are willing to look past the sins of others and their own sins, yet come down so hard on homosexuality, as if it's the sin to end all sins. In my personal opinion, it's the most harmless. Promiscuous sex is way more damaging, if we're on the subject of sexuality. But God doesn't have a rating system of sin.

But it's pathetically funny, because surely if you ask some Christian what is worse - some guy who sleeps around a lot or a gay guy who is a virgin by choice, they'd say the former. That is not right.

Then there's the whole thing about how homosexuality is "different" because it's a lifestyle as opposed to an one-time act. Well, if you want to get technical, the "act" of someone being emotionally and physically attracted to someone of the same sex and pursuing a relationship with them is not a sin unless sex is involved, but rather the individual act of sex with someone of the same sex. I've read my Bible - and yes, it's all technical, so I won't dwell on that issue.

But is not anyone who is not a born again Christian living a sinful lifestyle, then? Yet there is a significantly less discrimination against those who aren't Christian than there is against homosexuals specifically.

Then the other "argument" is that supposedly one cannot be a Christian and a homosexual. But that's like saying that anyone who sins cannot be a Christian. Which of course is not true, because then no one would be a Christian. And then they'd bring up the whole "lifestyle" thing again, but is a Christian who has a problem with lying not a Christian? Or one who has a drinking problem?

But what it comes down to it all is that we really cannot define what a Christian is for others, now can we? We're just imperfect humans ourselves. So we have no right whatsoever to say that anyone isn't really a Christian, nor to condemn someone for anything, because that is for God and God alone.

We have no right to look down on anyone, homosexuals included, because we are not perfect ourselves.

Look up John 8:1-12. I'll paraphrase it. The Pharisees bring an adulterous woman to Jesus, saying that she needs to be stoned. Jesus says that whoever is that who is without sin can throw the first stone. No one, of course, does. Jesus then asks the woman where her accusers are, in which she answers that there aren't any. So Jesus says that He does not condemn her, either, and let's her go free,then tells us that we are to be like Him.

So maybe the next time you come across a homosexual and are getting ready to spit out a biting comment, think of these verses. It is not our place at all. It is between that person and God. And if some person is truly a Christian, but also a homosexual, then it will be taken care of if they do have that relationship with God. What "taken care of" means, none of us know, but it's not for us to know. Worry about yourself, and if you want to worry about others, do it respectfully and focus more on salvation.

We also should not look down on anyone, because we are supposed to approach everyone with love.

Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I don't see anything about "don't be homosexual" or "condemn all homosexuals" or "call all gay people 'faggots'" or anything remotely like this. But love the Lord, then love your neighbor. Being condescending has nothing to do with love at all.

There are so many issues with the way people treat others in general. We're all guilty of it, myself included, of course. But if we work to improve on this by tackling the major cases first, or maybe even the minor cases, then we can improve. A lot of issues in this world would be solved if we just consistently treated people right.

I think if I write another note like this, it will be about forgiveness vs revenge. That's another thing I see a lot.

I don't care too much for mansions. Mansions can't buy me love.

From October 24, 2008

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I always looked at that verse as to how we should love. And it definitely is a great template for that. But it has just occurred to me that that is how God loves us. Of course, I've always believed in the love of God, always known of it, but never exactly delved into what that exactly meant. It's just always been a general thing. But reading every single descriptor of love up above and knowing that that entails the love we receive from Jesus, just makes verses like Romans 8:38-39 even more comforting.

Something I feel like I've dealt with the past few months is specifically stated above - "it keeps no records of wrongs." And I know God forgives - we only have to ask, but it never stopped me from feeling ashamed, dirty - sometimes not even worthy of being apart of God. But that's a fallacy, and all on my part. Because though I can never forgive and forget, God most certainly does. And I may dwell in shame because of my sin, very well past the time I committed it, but there's no need to. God isn't holding it against me. I've sincerely asked for my forgiveness - it's time to move on.

I felt so guilty. I felt as God was telling me something, leading me to a certain direction, and I completely chickened out. I wasn't strong enough because I could act on what the Lord was telling me. But I had a realization today. God understands. He knows how hard it was, that I am only human - He knows exactly why I could've step up to the call. And instead of picturing Him looking down on me and shaking His head in disappointment, I picture Him smiling comfortingly at me, still loving me, telling me "It's okay, Chanelle. It's okay."

Of course, He would've been absolutely thrilled if I'd had the courage to go forth, despite it all. But he's not ashamed of me because I didn't, and I truly feel that in my heart. He knows my shortcomings, but is patient with them, because He loves me, and as the verse entails - "love is patient." And though undoubtedly it would've been better if I just would've pushed through in His intended direction, things will still come together perfectly. Albeit in a different way, but it still will - I know that.

I finally feel like I'm getting it right again, and it feels amazing

"...[Love] keeps no record of wrongs."

From May 21, 2011


I Corinthians 13:5


Every day’s a blank slate.  We’re to treat everyone in the same loving manner always, regardless of what they’ve done before.  It’s hard to forgive, harder to forget, but we’re called to do both.  God doesn’t look at my past.  So I won’t look at anyone else’s.  I wanna live a life that promotes mercy, grace, forgiveness.  And hope for the present and tomorrow, no matter what lies in the past.

Can’t hold on to that stuff.  You just can’t.

The Casey Anthony Trial

From July 6, 2011

I guess not everyone’s gonna see it this way, because I’m looking at it through a Christian perspective, but I have some things to say about this:

Everyone’s saying that justice wasn’t served for Caylee because of the verdict that was reached today in the Casey Anthony trial.  And that’s true - if the flawed, human government was the ultimate authority on justice.

But it’s not.  True justice belongs to the Lord.  And the jury today may have done young Caylee wrong, but there is true justice to be found in the situation.  We may not be able to see it now.  We may never be able to see it.  But at least take some hope that God does have everything under control.  It is all in His hand.  And Caylee is in heaven right now, basking in the love and beauty of our Savior.

And even if the government did fail to deliver proper justice to Casey Anthony, know that the Lord is a just God and He’ll take care of it.  And know that justice isn’t always what we think it’ll look like or what it to look like.  And it doesn’t always come right away or when we think it will.  But true justice will be served in its due time.  Or rather, in God’s time.

And you know, I can’t hate Casey Anthony for this.  I can’t wish her dead.  And though the evidence against her is certainly insurmountable (though I guess technically not, given the verdict, but you know what I mean), I don’t even feel comfortable saying too much about her and the situation because yes, I can make my educated guesses and feel confident in them, but naturally I don’t know what exactly happened because I wasn’t there.  But you know, more than anything, I just want to pray for her.  Hope that she gets to experience the redemptive love of Jesus, that He’ll change her life and transform her.  I sincerely hope that for her above her death or even being jailed for life.

Because you know, here’s the thing about mercy - not a single one of us deserves it.  But Jesus gives it willingly to whoever wants it, no matter what they’ve done or deserve.  So I’ve really been inspired to adopt that attitude myself.  And hold out on hope that good can come of this.  That even the vilest people can be changed and forgiven.

And here’s the kicker: If Casey Anthony were to sincerely come to Jesus, then all of her sins would be completely wiped away, just like anyone else who comes to Jesus.  And she’d get to spend eternity in paradise, no matter what she had done in the past.

Isn’t that crazy?  But amazing - the limitless nature of Jesus’s forgiveness.  All we have to do is accept Him, and it’s all wiped free.  It’s so crazy.  So crazy.

I feel weird, though, even making such statements about Casey Anthony like I just did.  I don’t know her.  I don’t know where she is with God, so you know - that was more so to make a point then to make a point as to whether or not she’s saved right now.  Because I mean, what do I know?  Nothing, really.  Just that Jesus’s love, grace, and forgiveness knows no bounds, and I think that’s absolutely amazing.

And I still think the first response to have in regards to all of this is to just pray for her.  Animosity, hate, negativity - it does absolutely nothing.  Even if it’s “deserved” - it makes nothing better and everything bitter.  Responding in love, though, no matter the circumstance - that’s where it’s at.  We all have so much to say about Casey Anthony, but do you know that Jesus loves her more than anyone can imagine?  Not that I condone her actions at all - of course not.  What happened to Caylee is absolutely terrible.  But I think there’s still always room for love, no matter whatever.

This is the kind of crazy Christian talk that’s gonna make everyone hate me when I get to Hollywood in August, huh?  haha I imagine a lot of people rolling their eyes at all this (which is why I’m not even tagging this post as “Casey Anthony”).  But you know - whatever.  I’m gonna stand up for Jesus and all that He embodies, no matter what.  Because that’s all that makes sense to me, and I know I’m not a fool for it.  I know I’m not crazy for it.  And if I know that, then I really can’t be bothered what other people have to think about it.  What can those people offer me, anyway?  Nothing that Jesus can, that’s for sure.