From December 15, 2008
It's interesting, though, because growing up in religion, there are certain statements constantly thrown at you - so much, in fact, that it is sadly almost as meaningless as the lyrics of a Lil Wayne. I know the words, but do I really delve deep into meaning every time I quote, "Shawty want to hump, you know I like to touch those lovely lady lumps"? Do they resound with me, do they define my life, even though I listened to that song so many times over the summer? No, of course not. The lyrics mean nothing to me, and I cannot relate to them, for I've never touched a lady lump, nor do I want to touch a lady lump, and as I repeat those lyrics, the farthest thing from my mind is a lady lump. It has just become meaningless habit. Lyrics that have sound, but not much else.
It can be that way with the Word of God. There are all these verses that I've memorized, without even knowing just because I've heard them so much when growing up. Not even just verses, but phrases - "Jesus loves you", "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", and we all accept these as truths, but have we ever really dissected the full extent of what these things mean?
I have. Half-heartedly, without even knowing. I've taken much solace before in the simple fact that Jesus loves me, but what I had been ignoring was what that love truly means. I could think of the person who I love the most and that love would not even compare.
I began the year plagued - teetering in between confusion and guilt. It was either "I'm a fool, because I thought I heard God, but I really didn't" or "I was too much of a pussy to follow God's plan", and I couldn't stand the emotions that accompanied that. I felt so distant from God, and I took the full brunt of the blame. I knew He was trying to reach out to me, I could vaguely hear him calling, but I couldn't accept, because louder to me than His voice was my own, reiterating how much of a failure I was, and how disappointed God must have been in me.
I couldn't tell you when it happened. I slowly was beginning to feel God again, and then at once, I realized. No, I didn't realize - I finally opened my ears, and opened my heart, and heard what God was trying to tell me the entire time. "Forget your shortcomings, forget your mistakes - it doesn't matter, because I love you."
And suddenly, it wasn't like God was staring down condescendingly at me, disappointed in my blunders, but He was smiling down encouragingly at me, with a smile warmer than any of us could possibly ever dream to muster.
Now I always knew that God loves me. But for once, I realized just exactly what it means. It means that when I fall short, He is not exasperatedly sighing, He is not rolling His eyes - He does not want me to feel guilty or inferior, but instead He is patient. He is not angry, He is not keeping a record of my wrongs, though I was consumed by them each day - He is everything that that verse in I Corinthian says, because God is love.
And that's when my burdens disappeared, and I was able to return to that intimacy with God that I so longingly craved.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Friday, October 12, 2012
God and Fame.
January 17, 2012
So my perception of fame has changed a lot sine October 5, 2007, when I decided that I wanted to be famous. I mean, there was always a bit of God in my motives, but I think I’d be a liar if I said He was my main, driving force. No, it was my love for attention, my passion for entertainment, that spurred that goal. And goodness, what a despicable goal. “I want to be famous.” That’s not about the work or my talents, but the glory. I wanted to be known.
Cue four years of God changing my heart. There’s little doubt that He put some form of that desire on my heart. It was just my human nature - that pesky flesh - that took ahold of it and corrupted it, leaving God with a lot of work to do within me before I could get anywhere.
And goodness, there’s no way I cannot believe in the Lord, His power, and His love, because it was not on my own accord or just by way of life that the desire I had for fame - a desire that literally ate at my stomach for weeks: it was such a striking, physical sensation constantly stabbing at me until it practically led me to despair - was steadily transformed into a distinct opposition against having such a goal.
God revealed to me the selfishness of my heart. Even though in the “peaks”of my desire for fame I did truly want to use it as a means to share God’s love widely, there were also other motivations there that were distinctly not of God’s character. He chipped away at that steadily, though - thank goodness - to the point where I became completely averse to fame. I truly felt like having fame was an undesirable thing that I wouldn’t at all be happy with - and believe me, that’s a complete 180 from where I was at 18, 19, and some of 20.
God was not finished with me there with this fame thing, however. He began to bring my attention to certain things. Twitter, for starters, and the celebrities with literally millions of followers, who were just wasting that. Celebrities who have at times said they have a faith in Christ, yet not mentioning a single thing about Him ever. Five million people at their disposal, ready to be influenced - gosh, what a platform that would be. And celebrities are rarely against pushing their own agendas - social, political, personal - and it’s often to incredible results, but there’s not really anyone in such a position of social influence doing that for Christ…
Which brings in Exhibit B - Tim Tebow. The now famous NFL quarterback who does not hesitate to throw all glory to God, to preach the Gospel openly, to live in the love of Jesus. And people are taking notice. By not being afraid to use his position in the spotlight to share the message of Jesus, he is reaching so many. And it began to dawn on me - the advantage of fame. Though still convinced in the selfishness of pursuing fame, especially in the way that most do, I can see now that if I were to become famous, the possibilities are endless. The key would simply be to make fame not at all, even in the least bit, for my glory, but entirely for God’s. To turn it over completely to Jesus. His fame, essentially. Not mine.
I don’t believe in “pursuing fame for the sake of God”, because that seems to make God the secondary goal, as well as implying that you cannot bring glory to God without being famous. I’ve accepted and embraced that I can certainly do God’s work and reach many people with the gifts He’s given me without fame even being remotely apart of the equation. To say I’m trying to become famous for Him seems ridiculous, still seems more self-motivated than anyway, as well as self-controlling - trying to pursue my own way of life as opposed to letting God take the lead, like He’s supposed to.
To decide for myself “This is the way God is going to use me” and trying to get to a certain place before I let Him use me instead of letting myself be used for His will in the present and letting HIm take me where He deems fit - I don’t think that’s how it should be. But if I follow Him, use my gifts to His glory, and give my all to Him, and He ends up leading me to fame as a result - then I know how it absolutely must be used.
It’s not “try to become famous and use it for God” - it’s simply live my life always for God and follow Him wherever He leads me, whether that be general obscurity or worldwide renown. I just know that the amount of people who know who I am and what I’m doing does not measure my success. I know that even the amount of people I reach does not measure my success. It is simply letting God use me in all circumstances, letting Him use me to touch any life, knowing that heaven rejoices over even just one soul that comes to Jesus.
And if my art never reaches some place of wide recognition - then whatever. I’m far from fame, but there’s no doubt in my mind that God has already used my humor, films, and music to touch plenty of people. Fame won’t validate my creativity or purpose. God does that. And I’m just to give it all for His use, whether He wants to use it to reach ten people or ten million. Either way, His purpose is accomplished in the end, and that’s more than good enough for me.
But if He does want to use it to reach ten million - then I’m not opposed to that. No longer seeking that fate with all I got, but from an evangelistic prospective, there is a great advantage to having millions of people watching everything you do. And I do think that would be amazing. Much like with money, fame in itself isn’t a bad thing - it’s your attitude towards it, what you do with it that decides that. So if I am to ever be famous, I wouldn’t hate it. I don’t say that ironically - really, I’d just be fine with it.
But I feel part of me kind of starting to want fame again, in a much different way than I ever have before. It’s not a desire that’s consuming me, eating away at me - nothing that I’m obsessing over. Because it’s honestly not about my own recognition, attention or achievement, but rather it’s one moment playing in my head right now: At the grace of God being able to win an Oscar, stepping before all those people, those cameras, a nationwide audience and not thanking a laundry list of people, but rather straight up sharing the Gospel.
But if I never get that moment, it’s all good. I just pray that someone takes advantage of that moment in that way, and I will be more than satisfied to live out my life in the way God deems for me.
God had changed my heart so much that it’s incredible. It’s all on Him, that’s for sure, and I’m so grateful to Him for all that He has revealed to me, for continually sanctifying me - for saving me in the first place.
Lastly on fame - I pray that there will be more Tim Tebows in the world. In each industry, using the “spotlight” for Jesus. I pray that these Christians who are famous start using their fame to openly share Jesus. That they’ll realize that faith is not a private matter. If our faith is something we really cherish, really hold as important…if Jesus is to us what we say He is - why wouldn’t we want to share the wonderful love that has touched our lives so deeply to the point that we’re willing to call ourselves Christians? We wouldn’t have known Jesus if someone hadn’t told us - so whether we’re famous or not, I pray that we’re all led and convicted to share the amazing love of Christ with as many people as we can. Let’s not be selfish with it. Let’s not care what people think especially, because what people think certainly won’t matter once we’re off this Earth. In fact, we may take a look around and regret that we ever cared what people thought…
I think that’s what stops many “famous Christians” the most - fear of losing their fame, or even the opportunity to do what made them famous, by so openly endorsing and speaking about their faith. But I say that if I ever do become famous, I’m gonna speak about my faith until I do lose it. Then keep speaking about it even after that. If speaking about Christ is a surefire way to lose fame, then I’m gonna do all I can to lose it.
But really, that’s how it should be, regardless of fame. And that’s the ultimate lesson I’ve learned here - God can and will use us for His glory, no matter what the circumstance. Doesn’t matter if I’m famous or not - I’m still going all out on The Great Commission. There is always someone to be reached and influenced in our lives, after all.
Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Acts 1:8
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
And that’s the past four years of my life for you.
So my perception of fame has changed a lot sine October 5, 2007, when I decided that I wanted to be famous. I mean, there was always a bit of God in my motives, but I think I’d be a liar if I said He was my main, driving force. No, it was my love for attention, my passion for entertainment, that spurred that goal. And goodness, what a despicable goal. “I want to be famous.” That’s not about the work or my talents, but the glory. I wanted to be known.
Cue four years of God changing my heart. There’s little doubt that He put some form of that desire on my heart. It was just my human nature - that pesky flesh - that took ahold of it and corrupted it, leaving God with a lot of work to do within me before I could get anywhere.
And goodness, there’s no way I cannot believe in the Lord, His power, and His love, because it was not on my own accord or just by way of life that the desire I had for fame - a desire that literally ate at my stomach for weeks: it was such a striking, physical sensation constantly stabbing at me until it practically led me to despair - was steadily transformed into a distinct opposition against having such a goal.
God revealed to me the selfishness of my heart. Even though in the “peaks”of my desire for fame I did truly want to use it as a means to share God’s love widely, there were also other motivations there that were distinctly not of God’s character. He chipped away at that steadily, though - thank goodness - to the point where I became completely averse to fame. I truly felt like having fame was an undesirable thing that I wouldn’t at all be happy with - and believe me, that’s a complete 180 from where I was at 18, 19, and some of 20.
God was not finished with me there with this fame thing, however. He began to bring my attention to certain things. Twitter, for starters, and the celebrities with literally millions of followers, who were just wasting that. Celebrities who have at times said they have a faith in Christ, yet not mentioning a single thing about Him ever. Five million people at their disposal, ready to be influenced - gosh, what a platform that would be. And celebrities are rarely against pushing their own agendas - social, political, personal - and it’s often to incredible results, but there’s not really anyone in such a position of social influence doing that for Christ…
Which brings in Exhibit B - Tim Tebow. The now famous NFL quarterback who does not hesitate to throw all glory to God, to preach the Gospel openly, to live in the love of Jesus. And people are taking notice. By not being afraid to use his position in the spotlight to share the message of Jesus, he is reaching so many. And it began to dawn on me - the advantage of fame. Though still convinced in the selfishness of pursuing fame, especially in the way that most do, I can see now that if I were to become famous, the possibilities are endless. The key would simply be to make fame not at all, even in the least bit, for my glory, but entirely for God’s. To turn it over completely to Jesus. His fame, essentially. Not mine.
I don’t believe in “pursuing fame for the sake of God”, because that seems to make God the secondary goal, as well as implying that you cannot bring glory to God without being famous. I’ve accepted and embraced that I can certainly do God’s work and reach many people with the gifts He’s given me without fame even being remotely apart of the equation. To say I’m trying to become famous for Him seems ridiculous, still seems more self-motivated than anyway, as well as self-controlling - trying to pursue my own way of life as opposed to letting God take the lead, like He’s supposed to.
To decide for myself “This is the way God is going to use me” and trying to get to a certain place before I let Him use me instead of letting myself be used for His will in the present and letting HIm take me where He deems fit - I don’t think that’s how it should be. But if I follow Him, use my gifts to His glory, and give my all to Him, and He ends up leading me to fame as a result - then I know how it absolutely must be used.
It’s not “try to become famous and use it for God” - it’s simply live my life always for God and follow Him wherever He leads me, whether that be general obscurity or worldwide renown. I just know that the amount of people who know who I am and what I’m doing does not measure my success. I know that even the amount of people I reach does not measure my success. It is simply letting God use me in all circumstances, letting Him use me to touch any life, knowing that heaven rejoices over even just one soul that comes to Jesus.
And if my art never reaches some place of wide recognition - then whatever. I’m far from fame, but there’s no doubt in my mind that God has already used my humor, films, and music to touch plenty of people. Fame won’t validate my creativity or purpose. God does that. And I’m just to give it all for His use, whether He wants to use it to reach ten people or ten million. Either way, His purpose is accomplished in the end, and that’s more than good enough for me.
But if He does want to use it to reach ten million - then I’m not opposed to that. No longer seeking that fate with all I got, but from an evangelistic prospective, there is a great advantage to having millions of people watching everything you do. And I do think that would be amazing. Much like with money, fame in itself isn’t a bad thing - it’s your attitude towards it, what you do with it that decides that. So if I am to ever be famous, I wouldn’t hate it. I don’t say that ironically - really, I’d just be fine with it.
But I feel part of me kind of starting to want fame again, in a much different way than I ever have before. It’s not a desire that’s consuming me, eating away at me - nothing that I’m obsessing over. Because it’s honestly not about my own recognition, attention or achievement, but rather it’s one moment playing in my head right now: At the grace of God being able to win an Oscar, stepping before all those people, those cameras, a nationwide audience and not thanking a laundry list of people, but rather straight up sharing the Gospel.
But if I never get that moment, it’s all good. I just pray that someone takes advantage of that moment in that way, and I will be more than satisfied to live out my life in the way God deems for me.
God had changed my heart so much that it’s incredible. It’s all on Him, that’s for sure, and I’m so grateful to Him for all that He has revealed to me, for continually sanctifying me - for saving me in the first place.
Lastly on fame - I pray that there will be more Tim Tebows in the world. In each industry, using the “spotlight” for Jesus. I pray that these Christians who are famous start using their fame to openly share Jesus. That they’ll realize that faith is not a private matter. If our faith is something we really cherish, really hold as important…if Jesus is to us what we say He is - why wouldn’t we want to share the wonderful love that has touched our lives so deeply to the point that we’re willing to call ourselves Christians? We wouldn’t have known Jesus if someone hadn’t told us - so whether we’re famous or not, I pray that we’re all led and convicted to share the amazing love of Christ with as many people as we can. Let’s not be selfish with it. Let’s not care what people think especially, because what people think certainly won’t matter once we’re off this Earth. In fact, we may take a look around and regret that we ever cared what people thought…
I think that’s what stops many “famous Christians” the most - fear of losing their fame, or even the opportunity to do what made them famous, by so openly endorsing and speaking about their faith. But I say that if I ever do become famous, I’m gonna speak about my faith until I do lose it. Then keep speaking about it even after that. If speaking about Christ is a surefire way to lose fame, then I’m gonna do all I can to lose it.
But really, that’s how it should be, regardless of fame. And that’s the ultimate lesson I’ve learned here - God can and will use us for His glory, no matter what the circumstance. Doesn’t matter if I’m famous or not - I’m still going all out on The Great Commission. There is always someone to be reached and influenced in our lives, after all.
Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Acts 1:8
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
And that’s the past four years of my life for you.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Luke.
From February 14, 2008
The other day, I finished up reading the book of Luke (from the Holy Bible, in case you didn't know), and I figured I'd put here the verses that stuck out to me for anyone who may enjoy it.
What I really liked about this book is just being able to read the words spoken directly by Jesus. I especially love the parables - the metaphors, though simple, resound deeply. Then just reading all the things Jesus did in His life - impressive. I get inspired by reading this book to be as much like Him as possible.
And as I read this book, I realize how much I wish I could've been a disciple. I do consider myself a disciple of sorts due to my dedication to and thirst for Jesus, but to be able to have the opportunity to drop everything right there and follow Him would've been amazing. That's what I'm trying to do right now, but I'm not sure how. Well, I am sure how, just not sure how to get on that path, but God will surely show me the way.
Anyway, without further ado:
9:25 - "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"
That is exactly how I feel. He's pretty much speaking against selling out, but in a spiritual sense. But it can be applied to anything. It's important to be true to yourself and how you feel - don't give up that to get something less.
12:22 - "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes."
Just speaking out against superficiality and trivial concerns.
14:11 - "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
Something I need to remind self of at times.
14:13&14 - "But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
15:7 - "I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent."
These two verses just remind me how important it is to reach out to people, rather it be those less fortunate or when it comes to witnessing. And how even though there are plenty of people going the right path, just getting one more to follow is amazing.
16:13 - "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
This verse just reminds me of my little brother, haha. He's too concerned with money. A lot of people are. I couldn't careless.
16:15 - "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight."
Seriously! The world's view on practically everything is so skewed. The things they embody are seriously overrated (coughoverconsumptionofalcoholcough and other things). People are so concerned about having a good time by definition of this world or being acceptable towards me, when only God matters.
17: 2-4 - "It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."
The first part of that - as Christian, we need to be a good example to others around us. So this verse helps remind me of that - to make sure I'm living my life right so I don't influence others to sin. The latter part - forgiveness. It's something I have struggled with in the past, and though I say I have forgiven everyone now, sometimes I don't think I necessarily act like it. So I like to be reminded that I should forgive everyone.
18:17 - "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
A characteristic of a child, first off, is that they don't feel the need to question every single little thing. Nitpicky details don't matter - just Jesus is our Savior, trust God, and all things will be good.
18:29 - "'I tell you the truth,' Jesus said to them, 'no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.'"
Just encourages me to sacrifice it all for His sake.
22:49-51 - "When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, 'Lord, should we strike with our swords?' And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, 'No more of this!' And he touched the man's ear and healed him."
See, that's just amazing to me. These men were coming to arrest Jesus for no good reason and eventually kill Him, yet He still heals the guy who gets his ear chopped off. This man essentially deserves to lose an ear, but Jesus still helps Him out.
23:34 - "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'"
Once again, forgiveness. Despite it all, Jesus was willing to forgive those who were crucifying Him. So I should be willing to forgive.
So yeah, that's all. Luke is now definitely one of my favorite books, along with Acts, Romans, and I Peter. I practically inhaled Luke - I couldn't get enough. If you haven't read it already, I suggest you do.
Anyway, yeah, that's it.
The other day, I finished up reading the book of Luke (from the Holy Bible, in case you didn't know), and I figured I'd put here the verses that stuck out to me for anyone who may enjoy it.
What I really liked about this book is just being able to read the words spoken directly by Jesus. I especially love the parables - the metaphors, though simple, resound deeply. Then just reading all the things Jesus did in His life - impressive. I get inspired by reading this book to be as much like Him as possible.
And as I read this book, I realize how much I wish I could've been a disciple. I do consider myself a disciple of sorts due to my dedication to and thirst for Jesus, but to be able to have the opportunity to drop everything right there and follow Him would've been amazing. That's what I'm trying to do right now, but I'm not sure how. Well, I am sure how, just not sure how to get on that path, but God will surely show me the way.
Anyway, without further ado:
9:25 - "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"
That is exactly how I feel. He's pretty much speaking against selling out, but in a spiritual sense. But it can be applied to anything. It's important to be true to yourself and how you feel - don't give up that to get something less.
12:22 - "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes."
Just speaking out against superficiality and trivial concerns.
14:11 - "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
Something I need to remind self of at times.
14:13&14 - "But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."
15:7 - "I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent."
These two verses just remind me how important it is to reach out to people, rather it be those less fortunate or when it comes to witnessing. And how even though there are plenty of people going the right path, just getting one more to follow is amazing.
16:13 - "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
This verse just reminds me of my little brother, haha. He's too concerned with money. A lot of people are. I couldn't careless.
16:15 - "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight."
Seriously! The world's view on practically everything is so skewed. The things they embody are seriously overrated (coughoverconsumptionofalcoholcough and other things). People are so concerned about having a good time by definition of this world or being acceptable towards me, when only God matters.
17: 2-4 - "It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."
The first part of that - as Christian, we need to be a good example to others around us. So this verse helps remind me of that - to make sure I'm living my life right so I don't influence others to sin. The latter part - forgiveness. It's something I have struggled with in the past, and though I say I have forgiven everyone now, sometimes I don't think I necessarily act like it. So I like to be reminded that I should forgive everyone.
18:17 - "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
A characteristic of a child, first off, is that they don't feel the need to question every single little thing. Nitpicky details don't matter - just Jesus is our Savior, trust God, and all things will be good.
18:29 - "'I tell you the truth,' Jesus said to them, 'no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.'"
Just encourages me to sacrifice it all for His sake.
22:49-51 - "When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, 'Lord, should we strike with our swords?' And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, 'No more of this!' And he touched the man's ear and healed him."
See, that's just amazing to me. These men were coming to arrest Jesus for no good reason and eventually kill Him, yet He still heals the guy who gets his ear chopped off. This man essentially deserves to lose an ear, but Jesus still helps Him out.
23:34 - "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'"
Once again, forgiveness. Despite it all, Jesus was willing to forgive those who were crucifying Him. So I should be willing to forgive.
So yeah, that's all. Luke is now definitely one of my favorite books, along with Acts, Romans, and I Peter. I practically inhaled Luke - I couldn't get enough. If you haven't read it already, I suggest you do.
Anyway, yeah, that's it.
The Easter Bunny Scares Me.
From March 23, 2008
The image of Jesus on the cross sends chills down my spine.
It's one of those things that tears apart my mind in conflict. To be able to witness the sacrifice that saved my soul seems like it would be amazing. But to see the One who loves me the most - a love that no one can even begin to fathom - writhing in agony over someone as insignificant as me...
I know I don't deserve it. That sort of love. The grace that says that despite of all my imperfections and my inherent sinfulness that I can enjoy eternal life and salvation. Not a single thing that God has given me do I deserve.
Yet here I am, blessed beyond all belief - allowed so many things because of a sacrifice that I will never be able to fully grasp. I don't understand - all of that for an opportunity that so many people won't even take advantage of?
I believe Easter's true meaning is even more forgotten than Christmas'. With how commercialized that holiday has sadly become, at least we are constantly presented with spiritual carols and images of the nativity scene. But come Easter time, all I see are stupid multi-colored eggs and ridiculously terrifying personified bunnies, when rabbits can't even lay eggs.
What I don't see enough is the image of an empty tomb - the image that truly separates Jesus from just some prophet who was martyred. Because even though others have been resurrected from the dead (a prime example would be Lazarus), this was only a brief occurrence, for they eventually died permanently. Jesus, however, died, rose again, and then still living, ascended into the heavens.
It's a symbolism of sorts. Just like Jesus was risen from the dead, we are risen from this dead life of sin once we accept Him as our Savior. Jesus mastering death by rising from it shows the true defeat of sin. The Bible often ties the concept of death to that of sin. Thus, Jesus rising from death mirrors that of us rising from sin, and the ability to do that, because of His sacrifice.
I could not possibly imagine having to go through the suffering and pain that Jesus Christ had to, just for a group of violently imperfect creatures who aren't even grateful half of the time for all the amazingness that surrounds them. We don't deserve it. Not in the least bit.
But I am eternally grateful for that blood shed. For the resurrection that occurred afterwards. For the fact that my sins are paid in full and the only thing I had to do was accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and try my very hardest to live a life which glorifies Him (which also benefits me in the long run more than a sinful lifestyle would, anyway).
It's the thing that makes me rest easy at night. Not the pretty basket full of jelly bean that my mother prepared for me. Not the overflow of pinks and yellows and other bright hues plastered everywhere. Not some huge, scary bunny seated in the middle of the mall, allowing children to sit on its lap (how the heck was a rabbit derived as the "mascot" for the secular definition of Easter, anyway)?
But the blood of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
It's inspirational, you know? If He could go through such suffering for my salvation, than it should be no problem for me to give myself up as a living sacrifice for Him, despite whatever suffering and hardship that may result from it. I owe Him my soul, so I give Him my life.
Romans 3:22-24
"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 7:24
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Romans 5:6-11
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through Him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."
Romans 6:6-7
"For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to since once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God."
Romans 6:18
"You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."
1 Corinthians 15:12
"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrections of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that He raised Christ from the dead. But He did not raise Him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ had not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins."
Ephesians 2:1-5
"As for you, you were dead in your transgression and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved."
There are so many more verses I can reference, man. The Bible is full of all this amazing stuff.
God is truly amazing and loving. So today I implore you to forget about that creepy Easter Bunny, but rather dwell deeply on and celebrate the ultimate sacrifice - that of Jesus Christ for our souls to be saved from sin so that we can have eternal life.
The image of Jesus on the cross sends chills down my spine.
It's one of those things that tears apart my mind in conflict. To be able to witness the sacrifice that saved my soul seems like it would be amazing. But to see the One who loves me the most - a love that no one can even begin to fathom - writhing in agony over someone as insignificant as me...
I know I don't deserve it. That sort of love. The grace that says that despite of all my imperfections and my inherent sinfulness that I can enjoy eternal life and salvation. Not a single thing that God has given me do I deserve.
Yet here I am, blessed beyond all belief - allowed so many things because of a sacrifice that I will never be able to fully grasp. I don't understand - all of that for an opportunity that so many people won't even take advantage of?
I believe Easter's true meaning is even more forgotten than Christmas'. With how commercialized that holiday has sadly become, at least we are constantly presented with spiritual carols and images of the nativity scene. But come Easter time, all I see are stupid multi-colored eggs and ridiculously terrifying personified bunnies, when rabbits can't even lay eggs.
What I don't see enough is the image of an empty tomb - the image that truly separates Jesus from just some prophet who was martyred. Because even though others have been resurrected from the dead (a prime example would be Lazarus), this was only a brief occurrence, for they eventually died permanently. Jesus, however, died, rose again, and then still living, ascended into the heavens.
It's a symbolism of sorts. Just like Jesus was risen from the dead, we are risen from this dead life of sin once we accept Him as our Savior. Jesus mastering death by rising from it shows the true defeat of sin. The Bible often ties the concept of death to that of sin. Thus, Jesus rising from death mirrors that of us rising from sin, and the ability to do that, because of His sacrifice.
I could not possibly imagine having to go through the suffering and pain that Jesus Christ had to, just for a group of violently imperfect creatures who aren't even grateful half of the time for all the amazingness that surrounds them. We don't deserve it. Not in the least bit.
But I am eternally grateful for that blood shed. For the resurrection that occurred afterwards. For the fact that my sins are paid in full and the only thing I had to do was accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and try my very hardest to live a life which glorifies Him (which also benefits me in the long run more than a sinful lifestyle would, anyway).
It's the thing that makes me rest easy at night. Not the pretty basket full of jelly bean that my mother prepared for me. Not the overflow of pinks and yellows and other bright hues plastered everywhere. Not some huge, scary bunny seated in the middle of the mall, allowing children to sit on its lap (how the heck was a rabbit derived as the "mascot" for the secular definition of Easter, anyway)?
But the blood of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
It's inspirational, you know? If He could go through such suffering for my salvation, than it should be no problem for me to give myself up as a living sacrifice for Him, despite whatever suffering and hardship that may result from it. I owe Him my soul, so I give Him my life.
Romans 3:22-24
"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 7:24
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Romans 5:6-11
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through Him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."
Romans 6:6-7
"For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to since once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God."
Romans 6:18
"You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."
1 Corinthians 15:12
"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrections of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that He raised Christ from the dead. But He did not raise Him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ had not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins."
Ephesians 2:1-5
"As for you, you were dead in your transgression and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved."
There are so many more verses I can reference, man. The Bible is full of all this amazing stuff.
God is truly amazing and loving. So today I implore you to forget about that creepy Easter Bunny, but rather dwell deeply on and celebrate the ultimate sacrifice - that of Jesus Christ for our souls to be saved from sin so that we can have eternal life.
Amor.
From March 11, 2008
I Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keep no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."
Romans 12: 9-17
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil."
Romans 13:9-10
"The commandments, 'Do not commit adultery,' 'Do not murder,' 'Do not steal,' 'Do not covet,' and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
I Peter 4:8-10
"Above all else, love deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithful administering God's grace in its various form."
I Timothy 1:5
"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Can we remove all romantic connotations from the word for just a few moments? Love is pure, but the concept is tainted by the secular definitions. In all these verses, the "love" is not complimented by words such as "marriage", but rather the idea of reaching out to others, no matter who they may be.
Love is a word that is often thrown around quite meaninglessly, most likely because most people do not truly understand what love truly is. Now I do not claim to be an expert, but I would consider Paul one. And his description of love, as seen in I Corinthians covers it all.
It's the end of that segment that touches me the most. "Love never fails." I think it's complete crap when people utter the words, "I just don't love him/her anymore." If that's the case, then it obviously wasn't love to begin with. The things of the world are fickle and uncertain, but love is of God, and if there is one certain in life, than it is Him. If anyone's experiences with love goes against what He has said in anyway, then I am confident to say that it was not quite love.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demon, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ in Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
Now that's love.
Of course, we are repeatedly told to love our neighbors, but I'm sure we all question whether or not it's possible to have such a sincere love for everyone, including people we haven't meant. Obviously, there must be different levels of love, defined by the amount of fervor behind it, but the same principle still remains. Though not as invested in the homeless man I pass on the street daily as I am with my mother, I am still expected to reach out to him just the same.
But I believe to fulfill the criteria of love as stated above from the Bible, certain prerequisites in the relationship aren't needed, especially since we are not talking of "romantic" love at this moment. Thus I am constantly inspired to reach out in the best way I can to everyone who may need it. It's a thought that has been swimming around in my mind a lot for the past weeks, but I feel like I haven't exactly acted on it. No, I do not blatantly shun people, but there is always more than I can be doing to show love.
I Peter 4:8-10 especially speaks to me on this matter. Verse 8 has always been one of my favorite verses, but recently I've noted the following verses. It is not a coincidence that Peter speaks of hospitality right after he mentions love. So I want to be available to anyone who may need me, may it be in the simplest way or in the most complex way. I realize how easy it is to show love and how the slightest gesture can mean a lot to a person.
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithful administering God's grace in its various form."
Another thing that I am now becoming more focused on. I've been quite aware of my talents for some time now, mostly because compliments on them have been shoved down my throat since I was about seven. But it's come to the point that I realize that I shouldn't be using my gifts for my own joy, but for the joy of the Lord and of others. Especially in my case, when I have talents that specifically can be used to impact others (creativity, writing, humor). And without even meaning to, I've seen lately that these abilities have already been used by God to touch the lives of others, but I am not willing to just stop there. I want to take it to another level.
I just think it's very important to be a beacon of the love of the Lord. More important than myself, after all, is others.
Love is a simple concept with a powerful results. It can change moments, lives, the world. It's something we all need to be more conscience. Instead of automatically equivocating this concept to romance, we need to broaden our definitions to encompass what God truly means it as.
And this is regard to not just our friend and family, but enemies and strangers as well.
Let it be known that I am working on a blank state here. Despite lack of compatibilities or events that may have occurred in the past, I am willing to love and I'm going to love. And I think I've lost the central point of this note long ago.
But then again, isn't the central point love? 'Cause unlike most things, love never fails.
I love you all.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keep no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."
Romans 12: 9-17
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil."
Romans 13:9-10
"The commandments, 'Do not commit adultery,' 'Do not murder,' 'Do not steal,' 'Do not covet,' and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
I Peter 4:8-10
"Above all else, love deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithful administering God's grace in its various form."
I Timothy 1:5
"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."
Ephesians 5:1-2
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Can we remove all romantic connotations from the word for just a few moments? Love is pure, but the concept is tainted by the secular definitions. In all these verses, the "love" is not complimented by words such as "marriage", but rather the idea of reaching out to others, no matter who they may be.
Love is a word that is often thrown around quite meaninglessly, most likely because most people do not truly understand what love truly is. Now I do not claim to be an expert, but I would consider Paul one. And his description of love, as seen in I Corinthians covers it all.
It's the end of that segment that touches me the most. "Love never fails." I think it's complete crap when people utter the words, "I just don't love him/her anymore." If that's the case, then it obviously wasn't love to begin with. The things of the world are fickle and uncertain, but love is of God, and if there is one certain in life, than it is Him. If anyone's experiences with love goes against what He has said in anyway, then I am confident to say that it was not quite love.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demon, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ in Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
Now that's love.
Of course, we are repeatedly told to love our neighbors, but I'm sure we all question whether or not it's possible to have such a sincere love for everyone, including people we haven't meant. Obviously, there must be different levels of love, defined by the amount of fervor behind it, but the same principle still remains. Though not as invested in the homeless man I pass on the street daily as I am with my mother, I am still expected to reach out to him just the same.
But I believe to fulfill the criteria of love as stated above from the Bible, certain prerequisites in the relationship aren't needed, especially since we are not talking of "romantic" love at this moment. Thus I am constantly inspired to reach out in the best way I can to everyone who may need it. It's a thought that has been swimming around in my mind a lot for the past weeks, but I feel like I haven't exactly acted on it. No, I do not blatantly shun people, but there is always more than I can be doing to show love.
I Peter 4:8-10 especially speaks to me on this matter. Verse 8 has always been one of my favorite verses, but recently I've noted the following verses. It is not a coincidence that Peter speaks of hospitality right after he mentions love. So I want to be available to anyone who may need me, may it be in the simplest way or in the most complex way. I realize how easy it is to show love and how the slightest gesture can mean a lot to a person.
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithful administering God's grace in its various form."
Another thing that I am now becoming more focused on. I've been quite aware of my talents for some time now, mostly because compliments on them have been shoved down my throat since I was about seven. But it's come to the point that I realize that I shouldn't be using my gifts for my own joy, but for the joy of the Lord and of others. Especially in my case, when I have talents that specifically can be used to impact others (creativity, writing, humor). And without even meaning to, I've seen lately that these abilities have already been used by God to touch the lives of others, but I am not willing to just stop there. I want to take it to another level.
I just think it's very important to be a beacon of the love of the Lord. More important than myself, after all, is others.
Love is a simple concept with a powerful results. It can change moments, lives, the world. It's something we all need to be more conscience. Instead of automatically equivocating this concept to romance, we need to broaden our definitions to encompass what God truly means it as.
And this is regard to not just our friend and family, but enemies and strangers as well.
Let it be known that I am working on a blank state here. Despite lack of compatibilities or events that may have occurred in the past, I am willing to love and I'm going to love. And I think I've lost the central point of this note long ago.
But then again, isn't the central point love? 'Cause unlike most things, love never fails.
I love you all.
Trust the Lord.
From March 24, 2008
Ecclesiastes 11:1
"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again."
I honestly had no idea what that meant. Fortunately, my pre-teen oriented Bible that I've had for nearly four years but won't part with because I have too many things underlined (I'll get a new one once I've read through this one completely), offers guidance in regards to puzzling phrases like this.
It's just Bible time slang. To cast your bread upon the waters meant to "be adventurous and risk everything you had". Well, it still means that, but most people don't use that sort of terminology these days.
So what that verse is getting at, according to this little blurb, is that "God would honor that risk and take care of all your needs, including your food." I'm assuming the food bit was thrown in there because of the "bread", but beyond the point.
I smiled widely after I read that verse. I love these little reminders thrown in that I come across, reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing.
Then scanning through Proverbs a bit later on:
Proverbs 16:3
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
I mean, it makes sense. He really is looking out for us. So why are we so content with whatever and same ol'? Why do we stop ourselves from doing something REAL, something for others, something for God because we supposedly don't have the resources? Don't you know that your God will take care of every single one of your needs if you live your life righteously?
It's more of a reminder to myself than anything. And a justification.
I really need to do something more than this in my life because my dissatisfaction is forever surmounting.
However, I'm joyful and happy, which is a grand feeling. I found myself practically skipping down the streets of New York this evening, full and genuine smile plastered on my face. And I used to question such feelings - try to figure out what could possibly be the cause of it - but I have since abandoned those efforts. It's God, and I am quite fine leaving it at that.
For everything, I am quite fine leaving it at that.
But if you think I can surrender myself to monotony, wasted potential, and general discontent for who knows how long, then you are dreadfully mistaken. It's common knowledge that the longer you tolerate an annoyance, the harder it is to eventually escape it. So pretty much, it's now or never.
I've been spouting this risk-taking, do what YOU feel regardless of society or anyone else, just go for it, live life to it's fullest potential philosophies for as long as I've had the ability to use higher-end thinking. It's about time I actually lived it.
And know that I can risk it all, but as long as my intentions are good and my heart is set on God, then I will come out the winner in the end.
Ecclesiastes 11:1
"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again."
I honestly had no idea what that meant. Fortunately, my pre-teen oriented Bible that I've had for nearly four years but won't part with because I have too many things underlined (I'll get a new one once I've read through this one completely), offers guidance in regards to puzzling phrases like this.
It's just Bible time slang. To cast your bread upon the waters meant to "be adventurous and risk everything you had". Well, it still means that, but most people don't use that sort of terminology these days.
So what that verse is getting at, according to this little blurb, is that "God would honor that risk and take care of all your needs, including your food." I'm assuming the food bit was thrown in there because of the "bread", but beyond the point.
I smiled widely after I read that verse. I love these little reminders thrown in that I come across, reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing.
Then scanning through Proverbs a bit later on:
Proverbs 16:3
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
I mean, it makes sense. He really is looking out for us. So why are we so content with whatever and same ol'? Why do we stop ourselves from doing something REAL, something for others, something for God because we supposedly don't have the resources? Don't you know that your God will take care of every single one of your needs if you live your life righteously?
It's more of a reminder to myself than anything. And a justification.
I really need to do something more than this in my life because my dissatisfaction is forever surmounting.
However, I'm joyful and happy, which is a grand feeling. I found myself practically skipping down the streets of New York this evening, full and genuine smile plastered on my face. And I used to question such feelings - try to figure out what could possibly be the cause of it - but I have since abandoned those efforts. It's God, and I am quite fine leaving it at that.
For everything, I am quite fine leaving it at that.
But if you think I can surrender myself to monotony, wasted potential, and general discontent for who knows how long, then you are dreadfully mistaken. It's common knowledge that the longer you tolerate an annoyance, the harder it is to eventually escape it. So pretty much, it's now or never.
I've been spouting this risk-taking, do what YOU feel regardless of society or anyone else, just go for it, live life to it's fullest potential philosophies for as long as I've had the ability to use higher-end thinking. It's about time I actually lived it.
And know that I can risk it all, but as long as my intentions are good and my heart is set on God, then I will come out the winner in the end.
There is no Chance. Just God.
From April 16, 2008
With less than three weeks to go, I might as well start to begin the reflection process.
I never planned to be apart of Campus Crusade for Christ. I knew I wanted to be sure that my faith wouldn't take a lapse as I entered college, but to be honest, a Christian fellowship wasn't the forefront of my mind, never really being apart of one before. I just wanted to meet a few Christian people and attend a church, and I figured I'd be golden.
So during the the otherwise pointless occasion known as "Welcome Week", I found myself at the Catholic Center, ironically for "Protestant Worship Night." There were more people there than expected - after all, I figured this was a school where half of the students were Jewish and the other half were agonistical atheist, vaguely spiritual, but not really, folks. Not much room for Christians.
Tisch School of the Arts is strange. That much I knew before I came to NYU, solely because of the title "school of the arts." Figures that during our orientation, they'd assign us something before classes actually started, just to inconvenience a poor little, relatively shy girl from North Carolina who hadn't the slightest clue how to navigate properly the subway systems. I could hardly get to Kimmel effectively.
Nonetheless, I was told that before my first Writing the Essay class, I had to travel to the Museum of Modern Art to check out the Richard Serra exhibit. Where was this so-called "MoMa?" I didn't know, but I did know that it was free on Fridays, and that I had no one to accompany me.
Back to Protestant Worship Night, there was a post-gathering involving snacks and plenty of flyers after the worshipping. Things for tons of Christian groups and clubs and all sorts of fun, spiritual things. And of course, the typical list of questions. "Name? Where you from? Where you living? What's your major?"
"Chanelle. Yes, like 'No. 5'. No, it's not spelled the same. North Carolina. Yes, it's a big difference. Brittany. Film and Television."
It was the last answer that got a "Transform" flyer stuck in my hands, a Christian group focused on the arts. It was the content of that flyer that opened my eyes a bit. That Friday, they were going to MoMa! Problem solved.
That night, I ended up at Upstein (and found out that people up North were deprived of the wonder of Chick-Fil-A) with a bunch of cool cats from ... whoa, I definitely totally went blank on the name. (EDIT:Intervarsity is the name) But they were nice, and I figured, if I were to join a fellowship on campus, that was probably the one I'd end up at.
Friday found me dazed and in front of Kimmel, looking for the group that would lead me to the completion of my pointless Tisch assignment. It was a bit after the designated meeting time, and I was sure that I was soon going to be forced to turn back, empty-handed and forced to b.s. an essay (something high school had given me plenty of practice at). But fortunately, I spotted a blob roaming the area, made up of a few people I'd recognized from the night before.
It's funny looking back on that moment, thinking of the people I was introduced to who I knew nothing about in those moments. Strangers. People that I honestly didn't expect to come into much contact with after I was done viewing Richard Serra.
We were led to the subway station - everybody pulled out their metrocard and went right through. I, however, was a bit loss. I didn't own one of these "metro cards", yet everybody else did? Really?
My confusion must've been made apparent on my incredibly attractive, yet distinctly innocent face (hahaha), because Nick (though I think I only knew him back then as 'Tall white guy who is probably a couple of years older than me') came "to the rescue" and instructed me in the art of purchasing a metrocard. I put $20 on it, and it's still the same baby I use to this day. But more on him and our adventures through New York later, ha. In all seriousness, I will at a later time write a note about my metrocard.
And it was off to the MoMa. Being the painfully socially awkward in the face of strangers child that I was, I broke away from the group after we went through the incredibly long line and had purchased our free tickets (talk about your contradictions). I was on a mission - find Richard Serra, be amazed, then go back to Brittany.
Nothing went as planned. Well, I did find Richard Serra (his work, though, not the actual sculptor), had my interests vaguely aroused, but nothing that had me awestruck, since I wasn't exactly a fan of large pieces of metal that looked like they'd had the Force used on them. And I never ended up back at Brittany, but rather ended up living at the museum for my entire freshman year.
I'll stop being ridiculous now.
The end of my museum journey landed me back with these Christian peoples before the designated meeting time. I remember Josh and Michele, at least, as I sat awkwardly with them, listening in on their conversation, idly checking my phone and looking around, quite relieved that I had gotten the first part of my assignment done. We headed to the lobby to wait for the others.
Then I was engaged in bits and pieces of conversation, though I was mentally cursing myself at how inept I was at it. I recall Michele asking me for my phone number, then asking if I was attending the picnic in Central Park the next day.
Now, I knew nothing about a picnic. I was only at the MoMa because a little flyer for TransForm had told me. But I should've known then and before that this wasn't just a TransForm event. I had now entered the world of Campus Crusade for Christ - whatever the heck that was.
Figuring that Christian friends and a life outside of the fourteenth floor of Brittany Hall couldn't possibly hurt me (and not to mention, a chance to go to Central Park!), I told Michele, "I think I will." It's odd how sometimes, I remember things in such detail. What's not odd is that I just skipped class. Oops?
After the museum escapade, I found myself in the midst of these people, eating at this place called Cosi. Naturally, I was relatively silent. I can't remember if I got much badgering about it - that's what usually happens, so I'm sure at least once the question was posed "Why aren't you really talking?" Oh, that's a loaded question.
But I definitely didn't mind, though, sitting, eating, and listening to these people talk. They seemed interesting. They were mostly older, they were Christians, and they were nice people.
Then came the first taste of what the rest of my semester would be like. Riding on the subway back downtown, I was expecting to just head back to my dorm, mingle, call my mom to tell her about my adventures, then go to bed. Instead, I got a social life when Michele and Andrea invited me to Andrea's dorm to watch the bootleg version of Hairspray.
I think I was vaguely impressed with myself. Here I was, not even a week after my parents had kicked me to the curb of 55 East Tenth Street, hanging out at a different dorm with people older than me. I was figuratively brushing off my shoulders. Just a bit over a month before, I had turned eighteen. Now, I was a woman!
No, honestly, nothing THAT dramatic was going through my head. But I was still a bit flying high. Even if I hardly said a word during that entire night, I was still already broadening my social circle. I didn't even care that I was watching a bootleg movie, something I generally frown upon, seeing how I'm a film major (ha). I had older friends! Well, acquaintances. Well, nice people who'd invite the awkward freshman to hang out with them.
After SafeRide dropped me off in front of my dorm building that night, a bit after 12 (something else I felt proud of at the time. Big ol' Chanelle practically a veteran already, hanging out in New York City past midnight, something I hardly even got to do in High Point), I decided that I would check out this picnic the next day. It was something I honestly had decided at Cosi. These Campus Crusaders were interesting people.
In reflection, I find life lessons that had always been there, but am now just truly realizing the meaning of. Such as, when you seek God, things go your way. It's something I've known for awhile, rediscovered back then, but I realize now that it was something that was even apparent back then, though I'm not sure if I knew it. I went to Protestant Worship Night to find a way to keep strong in my faith as I entered college, and God threw in a bonus of giving me away to complete an assignment that had already been stressing me out. He's just amazing like that.
Those days started the progression of the my year that led me to the point that I am now. It's amazing, because of course it seemed like nothing at the time, but if I hadn't have gone to that one meeting, the course of my life of NYU could've been completely different. I wasn't able to go to the Club Fair because I believe it was on a Thursday, when I had my all-day class, so I would not have found out about Cru that way. Even if I had still gone to the Protestant Worship night, if I hadn't have gone to the MoMa that Friday, I surely wouldn't have ended up at Cru, but probably that campus fellowship whose name I still can't remember, and I have no idea why not. Okay, I'm looking back on my old wall posts right now, because I know a guy from the fellowship left me one, inviting me to a meeting. Or maybe it was a message...?
INTERVARSITY! hahaha That's the fellowship. Goodness. Anyway, yeah, I probably would've ended up at Intervarsity, thus leading a completely different existence than I am now.
Moral of the story - A Tisch assignment led to...the formation of BAM?
So pretty much, anybody who has been apart of Club Chanelle has Richard Serra and Writing the Essay to thank for that. Who would've knew? haaaaaaa
With less than three weeks to go, I might as well start to begin the reflection process.
I never planned to be apart of Campus Crusade for Christ. I knew I wanted to be sure that my faith wouldn't take a lapse as I entered college, but to be honest, a Christian fellowship wasn't the forefront of my mind, never really being apart of one before. I just wanted to meet a few Christian people and attend a church, and I figured I'd be golden.
So during the the otherwise pointless occasion known as "Welcome Week", I found myself at the Catholic Center, ironically for "Protestant Worship Night." There were more people there than expected - after all, I figured this was a school where half of the students were Jewish and the other half were agonistical atheist, vaguely spiritual, but not really, folks. Not much room for Christians.
Tisch School of the Arts is strange. That much I knew before I came to NYU, solely because of the title "school of the arts." Figures that during our orientation, they'd assign us something before classes actually started, just to inconvenience a poor little, relatively shy girl from North Carolina who hadn't the slightest clue how to navigate properly the subway systems. I could hardly get to Kimmel effectively.
Nonetheless, I was told that before my first Writing the Essay class, I had to travel to the Museum of Modern Art to check out the Richard Serra exhibit. Where was this so-called "MoMa?" I didn't know, but I did know that it was free on Fridays, and that I had no one to accompany me.
Back to Protestant Worship Night, there was a post-gathering involving snacks and plenty of flyers after the worshipping. Things for tons of Christian groups and clubs and all sorts of fun, spiritual things. And of course, the typical list of questions. "Name? Where you from? Where you living? What's your major?"
"Chanelle. Yes, like 'No. 5'. No, it's not spelled the same. North Carolina. Yes, it's a big difference. Brittany. Film and Television."
It was the last answer that got a "Transform" flyer stuck in my hands, a Christian group focused on the arts. It was the content of that flyer that opened my eyes a bit. That Friday, they were going to MoMa! Problem solved.
That night, I ended up at Upstein (and found out that people up North were deprived of the wonder of Chick-Fil-A) with a bunch of cool cats from ... whoa, I definitely totally went blank on the name. (EDIT:Intervarsity is the name) But they were nice, and I figured, if I were to join a fellowship on campus, that was probably the one I'd end up at.
Friday found me dazed and in front of Kimmel, looking for the group that would lead me to the completion of my pointless Tisch assignment. It was a bit after the designated meeting time, and I was sure that I was soon going to be forced to turn back, empty-handed and forced to b.s. an essay (something high school had given me plenty of practice at). But fortunately, I spotted a blob roaming the area, made up of a few people I'd recognized from the night before.
It's funny looking back on that moment, thinking of the people I was introduced to who I knew nothing about in those moments. Strangers. People that I honestly didn't expect to come into much contact with after I was done viewing Richard Serra.
We were led to the subway station - everybody pulled out their metrocard and went right through. I, however, was a bit loss. I didn't own one of these "metro cards", yet everybody else did? Really?
My confusion must've been made apparent on my incredibly attractive, yet distinctly innocent face (hahaha), because Nick (though I think I only knew him back then as 'Tall white guy who is probably a couple of years older than me') came "to the rescue" and instructed me in the art of purchasing a metrocard. I put $20 on it, and it's still the same baby I use to this day. But more on him and our adventures through New York later, ha. In all seriousness, I will at a later time write a note about my metrocard.
And it was off to the MoMa. Being the painfully socially awkward in the face of strangers child that I was, I broke away from the group after we went through the incredibly long line and had purchased our free tickets (talk about your contradictions). I was on a mission - find Richard Serra, be amazed, then go back to Brittany.
Nothing went as planned. Well, I did find Richard Serra (his work, though, not the actual sculptor), had my interests vaguely aroused, but nothing that had me awestruck, since I wasn't exactly a fan of large pieces of metal that looked like they'd had the Force used on them. And I never ended up back at Brittany, but rather ended up living at the museum for my entire freshman year.
I'll stop being ridiculous now.
The end of my museum journey landed me back with these Christian peoples before the designated meeting time. I remember Josh and Michele, at least, as I sat awkwardly with them, listening in on their conversation, idly checking my phone and looking around, quite relieved that I had gotten the first part of my assignment done. We headed to the lobby to wait for the others.
Then I was engaged in bits and pieces of conversation, though I was mentally cursing myself at how inept I was at it. I recall Michele asking me for my phone number, then asking if I was attending the picnic in Central Park the next day.
Now, I knew nothing about a picnic. I was only at the MoMa because a little flyer for TransForm had told me. But I should've known then and before that this wasn't just a TransForm event. I had now entered the world of Campus Crusade for Christ - whatever the heck that was.
Figuring that Christian friends and a life outside of the fourteenth floor of Brittany Hall couldn't possibly hurt me (and not to mention, a chance to go to Central Park!), I told Michele, "I think I will." It's odd how sometimes, I remember things in such detail. What's not odd is that I just skipped class. Oops?
After the museum escapade, I found myself in the midst of these people, eating at this place called Cosi. Naturally, I was relatively silent. I can't remember if I got much badgering about it - that's what usually happens, so I'm sure at least once the question was posed "Why aren't you really talking?" Oh, that's a loaded question.
But I definitely didn't mind, though, sitting, eating, and listening to these people talk. They seemed interesting. They were mostly older, they were Christians, and they were nice people.
Then came the first taste of what the rest of my semester would be like. Riding on the subway back downtown, I was expecting to just head back to my dorm, mingle, call my mom to tell her about my adventures, then go to bed. Instead, I got a social life when Michele and Andrea invited me to Andrea's dorm to watch the bootleg version of Hairspray.
I think I was vaguely impressed with myself. Here I was, not even a week after my parents had kicked me to the curb of 55 East Tenth Street, hanging out at a different dorm with people older than me. I was figuratively brushing off my shoulders. Just a bit over a month before, I had turned eighteen. Now, I was a woman!
No, honestly, nothing THAT dramatic was going through my head. But I was still a bit flying high. Even if I hardly said a word during that entire night, I was still already broadening my social circle. I didn't even care that I was watching a bootleg movie, something I generally frown upon, seeing how I'm a film major (ha). I had older friends! Well, acquaintances. Well, nice people who'd invite the awkward freshman to hang out with them.
After SafeRide dropped me off in front of my dorm building that night, a bit after 12 (something else I felt proud of at the time. Big ol' Chanelle practically a veteran already, hanging out in New York City past midnight, something I hardly even got to do in High Point), I decided that I would check out this picnic the next day. It was something I honestly had decided at Cosi. These Campus Crusaders were interesting people.
In reflection, I find life lessons that had always been there, but am now just truly realizing the meaning of. Such as, when you seek God, things go your way. It's something I've known for awhile, rediscovered back then, but I realize now that it was something that was even apparent back then, though I'm not sure if I knew it. I went to Protestant Worship Night to find a way to keep strong in my faith as I entered college, and God threw in a bonus of giving me away to complete an assignment that had already been stressing me out. He's just amazing like that.
Those days started the progression of the my year that led me to the point that I am now. It's amazing, because of course it seemed like nothing at the time, but if I hadn't have gone to that one meeting, the course of my life of NYU could've been completely different. I wasn't able to go to the Club Fair because I believe it was on a Thursday, when I had my all-day class, so I would not have found out about Cru that way. Even if I had still gone to the Protestant Worship night, if I hadn't have gone to the MoMa that Friday, I surely wouldn't have ended up at Cru, but probably that campus fellowship whose name I still can't remember, and I have no idea why not. Okay, I'm looking back on my old wall posts right now, because I know a guy from the fellowship left me one, inviting me to a meeting. Or maybe it was a message...?
INTERVARSITY! hahaha That's the fellowship. Goodness. Anyway, yeah, I probably would've ended up at Intervarsity, thus leading a completely different existence than I am now.
Moral of the story - A Tisch assignment led to...the formation of BAM?
So pretty much, anybody who has been apart of Club Chanelle has Richard Serra and Writing the Essay to thank for that. Who would've knew? haaaaaaa
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